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The Seven Deadly Sins in Los Angeles: Lust
- by chubbuni13
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- August 26, 2008
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Like any sprawling metropolitan city, Los Angeles offers its denizens plenty of ways to get their rocks off. From strip clubs to pickup joints, and from mega-raves to the Playboy Mansion here are just a few of the many sites and services that LA has to offer to our prurient interests.
Lust
Referred to as involving obsessive or excessive thoughts or desire of a sinful nature, lust is a ready staple of everyday LA culture.
Notice the Placement of the Tattoo
Lust knows where you’re going and what you want to do.
Adult Stores
Hustler Hollywood
8920 W Sunset Boulevard, West Hollywood, CA 90069
Do you remember when Hustler was the filthiest, dirtiest magazine around? Me either. It seems like Larry Flynt has turned his pornography empire into a legitimate enterprise, and judging from the throngs of people going in and out of Hustler Hollywood, it seems to be working.
Do you remember when Hustler was the filthiest, dirtiest magazine around? Me either. It seems like Larry Flynt has turned his pornography empire into a legitimate enterprise, and judging from the throngs of people going in and out of Hustler Hollywood, it seems to be working.
Le Sex Shoppe
4877 Lankershim Blvd, North Hollywood, CA 91601
Armenian Customer: “Let me have… looks around protector.”
Clerk: “What?”
Armenian Customer: more sternly “Let me have… protector!”
Clerk: “What are you talking about?”
Armenian Customer: huffily “Condom! Condom!”
Clerk: “Oh! Here are your… sly grin protectors”.
True story.
Armenian Customer: “Let me have… looks around protector.”
Clerk: “What?”
Armenian Customer: more sternly “Let me have… protector!”
Clerk: “What are you talking about?”
Armenian Customer: huffily “Condom! Condom!”
Clerk: “Oh! Here are your… sly grin protectors”.
True story.
Pick Up Spots
When you think about it, all of the flashy cars, fancy jewelry and surgical enhancements are just a ruse to ensnare someone to mate with. Shrewd businesspeople just figured this was a good way to make some money off of our animal instincts.
TastyLA Singles Dating Network
11601 Wilshire Blvd. #500 Los Angeles, CA 90025
Although I’ve never attended one of their mixers (HONEST!) I’ve read online that this is a great place for young, hip singles to meet. Plus unlike meeting girls at church/temple/mosque you don’t have those pesky religious undertones to worry about trying to while you’re trying to get her in the sack.
The Look of Love
If you haven’t seen Wong Kar Wai’s crazy films on human (and Hunan) sexuality, then your ass is lacking.
Barneys Beanery
8447 Santa Monica Boulevard, West Hollywood, CA 90069
Infamous pickup joint and meet market, this rowdy bar is in the middle of West Hollywood’s notorious Boys Town. Gay or straight, they all come here to meet Mr./Ms. Right Now.
Infamous pickup joint and meet market, this rowdy bar is in the middle of West Hollywood’s notorious Boys Town. Gay or straight, they all come here to meet Mr./Ms. Right Now.
Coliseum Los Angeles Memorial
3911 S Figueroa Street, Los Angeles, CA 90037
Home of LA’s biggest electronic music festivals, this place houses tens of thousands of people who exemplify loose moral sexual standards. This trend is only exacerbated by the large quantities of hallucinogenic drugs going around. If you can’t pick up here, I don’t know what to tell you.
Home of LA’s biggest electronic music festivals, this place houses tens of thousands of people who exemplify loose moral sexual standards. This trend is only exacerbated by the large quantities of hallucinogenic drugs going around. If you can’t pick up here, I don’t know what to tell you.
Typical Night Out at the Rave
Girl 1: “Is he watching, is he watching? He’s totally watching!”
Girl 2: "Let’s totally kiss now!’
smooch smooch smooch
Eye Candy
Because it’s got to start somewhere.
Hooters of Hollywood
6922 Hollywood Blvd Ste 109, Los Angeles, CA 90028
My girlfriend tells me that many of her coworkers are surprised that we go to Hooters together. And to be honest, I don’t know why we go so often either. The food isn’t very good, the service is spotty at best and there’s always a gang of drunk guys mouthing off in every corner. What’s the draw, I wonder?
My girlfriend tells me that many of her coworkers are surprised that we go to Hooters together. And to be honest, I don’t know why we go so often either. The food isn’t very good, the service is spotty at best and there’s always a gang of drunk guys mouthing off in every corner. What’s the draw, I wonder?
Spearmint Rhino Club
15411 Valley Boulevard, City Of Industry, CA 91746
I remember coming here for my buddy’s 20th birthday party. I was excited for all of five minutes but quickly became bored. One particularly persistent dancer kept on trying to sell me a lap dance until I exclaimed heatedly, “I’m gay!” My buddy seeing the success of my tactic echoed quickly, “I’m gay too!” and proceeded to cuddle up to me. sigh This is probably why I never got any play in college.
I remember coming here for my buddy’s 20th birthday party. I was excited for all of five minutes but quickly became bored. One particularly persistent dancer kept on trying to sell me a lap dance until I exclaimed heatedly, “I’m gay!” My buddy seeing the success of my tactic echoed quickly, “I’m gay too!” and proceeded to cuddle up to me. sigh This is probably why I never got any play in college.
Others
Sometimes you just can’t categorize something no matter how hard you try. Unlike ethnic profiling. Now that’s a piece of cake.
The Playboy Mansion
10236 Charing Cross Rd. Holmby Hills, CA 90024
As an alumnus of adjacent UCLA, all guys on campus know where the Playboy Mansion is. If lustful thinking were a religion, the Playboy Mansion would be Mecca; Although very few of my brothers in the faith have made that particular hajj.
She looks so old!
Guess how old the one in the middle is?
Lust Haircut Beauty Salon
757 S Fetterly Avenue 20 A, Los Angeles, CA 90022
I was running out of places… work with me here!
I was running out of places… work with me here!
Jessica H's 7 Deadly Sins Guide
I’d like to think the idea was a case of convergent evolution on our parts, but as the site shows, she got here first. I swear I didn’t know!
LA Live
Billion dollar project destined to get somebody… anybody… laid!
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