Secret Service Agent's Guide to the DNC
by Agent Jones - August 19, 2008
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This is my view as a 30 year veteran of being a Secret Service Agent and the challenges of dealing with protesters and dirty hippies.
The DNC
Denver, being a relatively small city, gives unique challenges to the Secret Service agent.
For one thing, it’s close to Boulder, a well-known communist enclave, and Colorado Springs, home to Focus on the Family and many right-wing extremists. With these two disparate groups so close by, we’re definitely going to have our hands full.
The Pepsi Center
Of course, our agents will be focusing the majority of our efforts around the Pepsi Center, where undisclosed places will especially be watched. There will be plainclothes agents watching your every move, you dirty protester.
Common Questions for Me:
These are a few of the more common questions asked of me and my fellow secret service agents.
So Agent Jones, Why Are You a Secret Service Agent?
A pretty common question for me. From those few around me who I trust.
There comes a time in a man’s life when he’s going to have to decide what he wants to do for a living. My life took a turn when I first saw hippies in the news as a little boy. The excitement of taking down a dirty long haired hippie and burying his head in the concrete repeatedly was too much.
I became an agent of the Secret Service because I wanted to help protect our nation’s most valuable asset: the Commander in Chief.
Our Post 9-11 World
Many people who know me ask me what I think of our post-9/11 world. I usually don’t have a ready answer, unless I think they’re getting smart. Then it’s all “boom, headshot.” Usually with a blunt instrument.
Ever seen what happens to a person when you strike a person with the “”itemtitle">Monadnock Autolock 26" Expandable Baton with Power Tip":http://www.copsplus.com/prodnum1599.php ? Needless to say, it’s exhilirating. What was the question again?
Liberal Protester's Guide to the DNC
Oh yes, these guys will be carefully watched. Especially after Kent State.
The DNC Guide to What Denver Doesn't Want You to See
Supposedly hidden things at the DNC. Trust me, if we didn’t want you to see them you couldn’t find them.
Hippies Everywhere
Dirty hippies. Making me sick.
In another life I would have been a country singer.
Pepsi Center
1000 Chopper Cir, Denver, CO 80204
This is the home of the Colorado Rockies (who lost the World Series and cost me $400). It’s where the Democrats are meeting and where I’m stationed at for the next couple of weeks.
This is the home of the Colorado Rockies (who lost the World Series and cost me $400). It’s where the Democrats are meeting and where I’m stationed at for the next couple of weeks.
Kids Have the Cutest Questions.
It’s missing my favorite though:
“How many bad guys have you taken out?” by Timmy Armstrong.
The answer is seven, Timmy. Seven.
Here's Some Great Films that Kind of Portray the Sweet Sweet Experience of Being a Secret Service Agent
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This is too funny…love the central image!
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“Perry” is it? You just bought yourself one get out of jail free card.
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This is my kinda guide. Cheers! @
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