Seattle to Failing Economy: We Got Your Back, Dawg

Food prices have risen considerably over the past year, and the only sensible way to mitigate the burdensome expense is to start buying your Miracle Whip in 2 pound jars. One can only hope that by the time you finally run out of the stuff in 2014, prices will have leveled off.

In a time of modest consumer spending, people are looking to cut costs wherever they can. Amazon and its strong business model are here to help, by providing those things you just can’t live without, and at a reasonable price no less.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a barista or head of International Relations. All Starbucks employees are eligible for the same level of benefits, and most importantly, get a free pound of coffee every week. I briefly worked for these guys in 2002, and by the end of the second month I was mainlining their breakfast blend like a heroin addict. Thanks Starbucks!

Oberto is about the single hardest employer to get on board with in all of Seattle. Kids drop out of junior high to work here for life. Thankfully, the instance of heart disease among employees hovers at right around 100%, so even if they aren’t hiring right now, give it a day or two.

Video game geeks require only two things without question, and regardless of how the economy is doing:

1. New Video Games
2. Mountain Dew

I’m not sure about who you hang around with, but I know at least three different people who have sold plasma or done things they were ashamed of for the sake of owning the latest video game release. That may sound like a problem with priorities to some, but to Nintendo employees it sounds a whole lot like job security.

Not only has it consistently been rated as one of Fortune Magazine’s “Top 100” companies to work for, word on the street is that you spend a considerable portion of your workday fitting athletic members of the opposite sex for bike shorts. However, I can say from personal experience that any attempt to do freelance fittings will be met with severe disapproval.

For the ladies and the lady-like gents out there, Nordstrom is pretty much the department store mothership of the West Coast. And don’t worry about not being pretty or fashionable enough, because you can still work for Nordstrom Rack!

Even with gas prices dipping as low as (gasp!) $2.99 recently, don’t expect the masses to start taking their Hummers cross country just yet. That means more time at home, and a lot more use of the computer (family time isn’t as plausible as it sounds). And just how do you suppose everyone is going to use their computers if Microsoft isn’t there to patch Vista every 14 hours? Because even if you had to cancel that trip to Fiji, you still need a working computer to check out their live webcams all day long.