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Happy Easter! Prepare to Die!
- by hi_liner
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- May 27, 2009
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No ordinary rabbit has the strength to haul around a ton of candy and toys for all the Easter celebrating kids in the world. Have you seen the size of bunnies? They're not that big. So thinking logically, the Easter Bunny has to be one giant MoFo. And when I think of a giant Easter Bunny I get a little scared. The following only cements my belief that the Easter Bunny is actually a minion of evil. I'm off to hide under my bed until Holy Week is over.
Have you seen this girl?
Hi. I'm Frank. I'll be your nightmare today.
Oh Donnie Darko you made me fall in love with Jake Gyllenhaal and fear rabbits.
I'm snuggly. I promise. Adopt me.
Balloons are scary too
“Yeah, I’m made of balloons. So what! You want to mess with me? Try it! I’ll pop your face off!”
Monty Python Meets Certain Death
As all of these videos have shown, just leave the bunnies alone. Even with a gang of knights you’re still going to lose.
Bunnyman Bridge
Bunnyman Bridge is an urban legend out of Clifton, VA. Supposedly an escaped convict survived on bunnies (leaving half eaten carcasses everywhere) before killing a group of teenagers who were hanging out at the Bunnyman Bridge. The supposed Bunnyman comes at midnight on Halloween to claim his victims.
Just one more reason for me to say, “F bunnies!”
Happy Easter!
I brought you some dead kittens and rotten eggs.
Not what she expected
Easter Bunny: Hi little girl. What would you like for Easter?
Little Girl: … Ummmm … WTF is this?
Bunny Boy
This friendly guy takes you on a magical journey through Harmony Korine’s feel good film Gummo
See Bunny Boy in action below.
Bunnicula
Great idea! Let’s write a children’s book about a vampire rabbit and make elementary school kids read it!
Bunnicula in the flesh
Oh, hi...
Something tells me this bunny was hiding in the closet and snuck out when no one was looking.
Easter Bunny
Maybe this guy IS big enough to carry the tons of candy and toys.
Pregnant Bunny
The added hormones make this type of Easter Bunny extra dangerous. Avoid at all costs.
Peter Cottontail
Here comes Peter Cottontail,
Hoppin’ down the bunny trail,
Hippity, hoppity, hippity, hoppity,
Death is on its way.
ANIMAL BATTLE ROYALE!
Author – Karey Ann
Peeps will die just like us
Easter Bunnies have no fondness for their Easter brethren. Peeps should be on the lookout just like the rest of us. Maybe even more so because of their delicious marshmallow goodness.
Not so scary
Wasted Easter Bunny just wants to listen to Pink Floyd with you while eating Frosted Flakes sans milk.
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Damn, this Guide makes me glad that I’m Jewish.
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