Safety Cone's Guide to the Practicals for Inauguration Attendees

Secret Service Safety Cone OR Plain Clothes Citizen Safety Cone?

It’s that age-old question: when your job is to protect, are you ever off-duty? Perhaps you’ve seen the pictures of Safety Cone, upside-down on top of a wine bottle or betting on race horses, just to name a few. Clearly safety issues are not always on his little mind, but Obama’s Inauguration will require more protective measures than any other in history. Safety Cone cannot ignore reality and is not one to refuse help when it’s needed. BUT, he also likes to get down and have a good time. What to do???

Protecting Obama

So, how much protection are we talking about? It’s probably going to require more than what one little Safety Cone can offer, methinks. According to the AFP:
 

• “An unprecedented security blanket has been draped over the U.S. capital…and the threat level to the country’s first black president is expected to remain high well beyond his swearing in.”

• “The US military will fly air patrols, man surface-to-air weapons systems, ply the Potomac River with gunboats, assess chemical and biological threats, organize large-scale medical support in the event of an attack, and provide visible and undercover on-the-ground security.”

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Safety Cone Will Protect YOU!

The government will be focused on Obama and all other political notables and NOT on you when it comes to your safety and comfort. Okay, they’ll help you out if there’s a threat against your life or something like that, but regarding the basics like eating, sleeping, and getting around, you’re on your own. 
If there is ever a day NOT to wing it when it comes to travel planning, Inauguration is it. Some say 2 million will attend, others 4 million—regardless, the city will not be able to handle the influx so YOU need to be prepared for what to expect. Especially if you’re just starting to plan now.

1) Last-minute Housing

Um, you’re screwed. Well, many hotels were booked a while back and you even had to pay up the wazoo then. If you don’t have friends willing to have you crash on the floor or are of Safety Cone size and can sleep in any nook available, you still have some options. See below…

5) What CAN'T I bring?

As equally important as what you can bring is what you can’t bring. Why? Because if you bring it, it’s going to get tossed by the authorities and there’s nothing worse than seeing your monogrammed L.L. Bean backpack or high-class flask die such a tragic death.
Click below for a complete list!

*More Nitty Gritty Links*

*More Fun Links*

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2) Finding Food

Washington D.C. has a thriving dining scene, but beggars cannot be choosers come Inauguration. Unless you have made reservations, paid the big bucks or want to wait hours (really!) for a mediocre sandwich, eating will be about meeting basic sustenance needs, not exploring culinary curiosities. Pretend you are packing for a hiking trip. Suuuure, it’s possible there will be a snack bar a la Appalachian Trail, but don’t bet on it. Bring lots of:

• bottled water (no thermoses or coolers allowed!)
• calorie-filled food like granola bars, PB&J and other snacks that are easy to eat with your hands

4) What else should I bring?

Safety Cone is low-maintenance but most of us are not so lucky. We have to remember things like maps and ATM cards and tylenol and iPhones. Geeeez. Whether you’re camping out in the freezing cold in a state park, living out of your car, flying in or staying at a hotel, you don’t want to forget ANYTHING once you hit up the Inauguration. In addition to the staples above and the “regulars” (wallet, keys, etc.), there a few Inauguration-specific items to remember:

• camera! Not that you’re going to get close enough, but still, there will be photo-opps
• binoculars and/or radio or streaming device (iPhone?), depending on your desire to see or hear, because unless one of the few screens is in sight, you won’t even know the Inauguration is happening
• braving-the-elements gear: it’s winter time, which means it could snow, rain or just be damn cold. Be prepared!!! But not too prepared. NO UMBRELLAS allowed.   

*Key Inauguration Places*