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Robots Make Me Cry
- by andrea_d
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- April 20, 2009
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There are very few things that upset me more than robots. Some people really care about world hunger, or child abuse, but me? Robots. Not just any robot, though - robots with emotions. I know, I know, everyone thinks I'm crazy, but I can't think of anything more tragic than artificial intelligence that has learned to FEEL. Read on for my stunning, flawless arguments as to why feeling robots make me cry.
Hot, Emotional Robots
The only thing worse than a robot with feelings is a hot, hot robot with a stellar bod. And feelings.
It was one thing to have the robot-y Cylons with their tendency to slice humans into ribbons with their claws, but humanoid Cylons (skinjobs, if you will) feel pain, can reproduce, and occasionally band together with humans to save the universe or whatever.
Batteries Not Included (1987)
Yes, Spielberg. Lay it on thick. Cute, flying robots that start a little robot family.
Terminator 2 Final Scene
Great. A robot that has learned how to feel through the emotional guidance of a tweenage boy sacrificing himself for the future of the human race.
Iron Giant
I stone cold REFUSED to watch this movie, knowing that it would result in me curled in on the couch in a fetal position sobbing my eyes out, which, when I finally watched it a few weeks ago, is EXACTLY what happened.
Cry, robot: the android dental patient at the cutting edge
Again, nightmare material.
Wall E
A robot that wants to hold hands. Goddamnit, little robot, I will hold your hand if you stop looking so goddamn adorable.
Sharon
I LOVE Grace Park as Sharon/Boomer/Athena/Model 8. LOVE. Like, I would so gay marry her.
Society of Robots
If you want to start down the path to humanity’s destruction, sure, go ahead, build a robot.
I, Robot
I didn't actually see this, but I've been reminded to add it.
Bumblebee
The Transformers were a bunch of smartass giant robots from space, but Bumblebee had heart. Sure, sure, everyone cried when OP died, but Bumblebee was always the most caring. Because he was a Volkswagen (originally), which is a German car, and everyone knows that Germans are known for their loving nature.
Wait, what?
Anyway, my point is, Bumblebee makes me sad.
Bionic Woman
Another robot who scared me as a kid and made me cry.
Japan's Child Robot
“The CB2 baby robot has begun to grow up, and can now learn like a toddler. The two-year-old, four-foot-tall, 73-pound robot is now interacting with humans and “developing social skills,” just as its creators at Osaka University hoped it would.”
Robot that is learning to feel
Do not click this link unless you want to have your dreams haunted.
Robot walks with monkey's brain
I can’t decide if the idea of a robot with a monkey’s brain is less or more tragic than a robot with a human’s brain. Although I suppose there is very little difference, ultimately.
Short Circuit
Nothing quite like an accidental robotic life form who learns the hard way just how evil humans are. Yes, hurt in the first film and truly bashed into pieces in the second… god, seriously, that was so sadistic.
Yes, I see the resemblance
I almost didn’t see Wall-E because I KNEW that there would be a part that would make me want to cry.
Adowabow Wobot
From http://www.flickr.com/photos/crystalflickr/392972359/
Problems with feeling robots
I mean, there are people out there who think that animals don’t feel. Can you imagine just how much more suffering there is going to be ir artificial intelligence develops in such a way that robots can actually suffer?
- If machines can feel, then I have to feel bad about selling my car.
- When your drop your cell phone in the future, you may have caused it pain.
- All around, BAD IDEA.
Tamagotchi pets
I knew someone who tortured their virtual digital pet. NOT COOL.
Aw
How could you want to harm something so cute? (From Zixiao.com)
Battlebots
Not that they wouldn’t learn it from us eventually – I suppose that most robots that we build, we build for our own selfish purposes, be they to help or harm. But once these Battlebots turn all sexy and start reproducing with us, we will have some serious issues.
R2D2
You almost don’t realize how cute R2 is because C3PO is always distracting you with his granny-fussing. But again, adorable robot put in jeopardy by humans? Check.
The Electric Grandmother
For some absurd reason, we were forced to watch this Ray Bradbuy-based, Twilight Zone-enhanced movie about a family that buys a robot grandmother to take care of them after their mother is killed in an accident. I will not lie – this movie made me cry from fear, and I forced my kid sister to sleep in my room for a couple of months after seeing this. Here’s the scene that made me freak out – it’s both less and more terrifying than I remember from when I was four.
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I think HAL 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey deserves to be in this list. His death was the most poignant part of the entire film for me.
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Once when I was 17, I convinced my friend to get a tattoo of a robot on her ribcage.
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I heart Battlebots. And it is distressing to see the looks of despair on some of the faces of the losing teams. Also some movies with good robot scenes: Forbidden Planet (three earth astronauts land with their robot on Mars — a planet of women and danger); Silent Running (which I won’t go into too much because I can’t remember what order some of it is disclosed in — but cool retro sci-fi).
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