Realistic Resolutions Worth Keeping

by aliciak - December 28, 2008

Rate Guide (4)

4 discussions

Every year, we make resolutions that we'll never keep, like that exercise-daily one, or promising to be "a better person," or attempting to have more than $16 in a savings account. After years of failing at this game, I finally realized why I can't stick to certain things: because I don't WANT to in the first place! Most are ideals that I don't care about pursuing, but they seem pursuable at the time. I'm cutting the crap this year and keeping it real. And I think you should too! I'm going to achieve what I WANT to achieve and not what some self-helpish GUIDE TO LIFE books wants me to.

1) Hold Grudges/No Excess BS

I am rarely one to hold a grudge, even if it is well-deserved. I am not one of those “forgive and forget” people, but rather a “forgive but never forget” kind of girl. I think this means I get walked on, but only I have to deal with the consequences—pent up anger, sadness or frustration.

Maybe I should learn to hold grudges? Or at the very least, not put up with all the BS in my life, brought on by bitter, sometimes mean people and their problems that somehow get unloaded on me. I think I transferred my teacher thick skin to everyone else, meaning I just “take it” because I think I have to. But I don’t have to! And I’m not going to anymore.

Add Comment

3) Read Those Books I Keep Meaning To Read

You know that list, full of classics or long novels or difficult poetry that you never seem to tackle. For a long time, it feels like an accomplishment merely thinking about reading such books, but this year I want to make a dent in what I call my “Books that intimidate me” list. Here goes:

War and Peace
Don Quixote
Anna Karenina
Paradise Lost
Ulysses
Remembrance of Things Past
The Fountainhead

Add Comment

5) Prove My College Graduation Speaker WRONG

I’m not vehemently against Madeleine Albright, but she was my graduation speaker and sent shivers down my spine because she made me feel like I approached life wrong…really wrong. She spoke about how we should be “doers” and not “drifters,” that we should always have plans and a well-thought out life path, that everything should be pursued in this organized fashion.

It was one of those “oh crap” moments because I realized that I chose most of my classes because I was interested in the subject and/or book list, or because we got a cool field trip out of the deal, or because there’s no way in hell I would voluntarily read insert long difficult book here. Or because it was held in a building close to my workplace or I thought the teacher was cute/pretty. Wait, was I suppose to have a career or end goal in mind? What??? I missed the lecture on the whole “doer” thing…

BUT as I wrote 5+ years ago in my trusty ole livejournal, “I think you can do both. A doer who drifts, a drifter who does.” So if I ever get asked to be a graduation speaker, I think I know how my speech will go…well, if I can prove this “drifting” thing sorta kinda maybe works?

Add Comment

7) Formulate "Better Eating" Plan

I usually stay away from the “eat better” and “work out” resolutions that tons of people commit to doing every January, mostly because these are so vague. How do you stick to something like “eat better”? My suggestion is to make a really concrete and detailed plan for how to go about doing this, which in my case means making multiple to-do lists and a construction paper chart where I can put stickers on each day I “obey” my rules.(I’m still stuck in 1st grade sometimes).

Alicia’s 2009 game plan: eat meat only twice a week and always have salad-making ingredients in the fridge.

Add Comment

8) Find A Zen Hobby

The Zen Garden may work for you, but it doesn’t work for me. How many times can you push around a tiny amount of sand? Weather permitting, biking is my meditative practice, even though it involves dodging taxi cabs and riding on half-assed bike paths and getting lost in the Bronx. I feel at peace and I finish off the day with bath.

Off-season? I don’t have a replacement, but I really need something. Some of my ideas:

geometric origami (but I DO get frustrated when I can’t do it)
classical music appreciation—focus on one composer a week and just listen (without multi-tasking)?
take up yoga again (I dabbled in it in high school with yoga books from the library creased open on my bedroom floor)
make bread/pie once a week (I like painstaking baking processes that involve really using your arm muscles and require patience)

Add Comment

Gleason's Gym Inc

83 Front St, Brooklyn, NY 11201

Or just learn how to box and beat people up.

Add Comment

2) Sleep More

I have been plagued by sleep deprivation, its partner-in-crime, the perpetual headache and that nuisance, the alarm clock, on a daily basis, including most weekends. But you know what, not sleeping enough makes me cranky and it also makes me resentful when I’m hanging out with some people, when really I should be sleeping.

How do you tell your friends, “I want to go home and sleep” without offending them?

This year, I am bringing back the nap! It has been missing from my life for far too long. Additionally, I may invest in the “Clapper,” so that no matter where I am, I can turn off the lights without moving from my cozy spot.

Add Comment

4) Be More Impulsive

It seems paradoxical to try to be more impulsive, doesn’t it? I get all kinds of ideas in my head about taking impulsive trips to casinos and famous karaoke bars, to giant rubber band balls and life-size chess pieces, to small beach towns and strip mall motels. Sometimes I act on these impulses, but this is rare.

There are these things called work, bills, commitments, and responsibilities that hold me back, and my overall goal in life is trying to get rid of as many of them as possible. Apparently bosses don’t understand the necessity of sometimes driving 8 hours to see some unusual natural land mass and how much willpower it takes for me to suppress my impulses.

Add Comment

Martini Beach

429 Beach Ave, Cape May, NJ 08204

Home to the “karaoke king,” Terry O’Brien.

Add Comment

6) Master A Second Language

French, specifically. Because when this country goes to sh*t, I will pack it up and head to Canada just as so many peeps threaten to do. So far, my plan to brush up on my French-speaking involves:

watching a lot of Godard films, once with the subtitles and then once without
translating French poetry
speaking in French when I talk to myself

What else should I do? Do I cave and get one of those Learn-French on tape deals?

Add Comment

9) Do Not Give Up!

This Guster song at left will be my inspiration (I don’t like this live version at all, but there it is in its semi-sucky sound). The “tomorrow I start in a new direction” is the common pitfall in making resolutions—isn’t that procrastinating? There’s no day like today, right?

To tell you the truth I’ve said it before/

Tomorrow I start in a new direction/

I know I’ve been half asleep/

I’m never doing that again/

I look straight at what’s coming ahead/

And soon it’s gonna change in a new direction/

Every night as I’m falling asleep/

These words repeated in my head.

Carpe diem…

Add Comment

Guides We Think You'll Like

Discussions

: by Karey Ann 02/05/2009 Reply

I would highly recommend putting Anna K. at the top of your reads! War and Peace can wait, even though it kinda sounda better to say, “I just finished the distinguished literary work ‘War and Peace’”. Or just tear up 2009 by reading Dostoyevsky’s “The Brothers Karamozov”. Let me know how it goes! I’m committing to reading more modern novels this year – let me know if you have any suggestions . . .

: by mswen 01/06/2009 Reply

I am a big advocate for listening to classical music. (I don’t really “listen” to it, though, which I should probably make a point of.) I’ve got it on in the background during my workday and, seriously, it takes my stress level down so much.

: by Chelsea 01/02/2009 Reply

Thanks for the link! Dude, I have been saying I’d read Fountainhead forever. and havent.

All Discussions (4)

About The Author

aliciak

Tribeca, New York

I like to: crochet, eat, read, write, go to museums, watch old movies, cook, bake, observe children, visit the library, travel, cut my own hair, explore New York, mix gin drinks, bike ride, take photographs, keep in touch with people, be crafty, swim in the ocean, make bets, and read blogs and ca...