A Guide to The Real Housewives of New York City

Don't cross Luann:

The ONE thing you can do to really UPSET “the Countess” is by forgetting she is one. Luann has gotten so peeved on previous episodes about people not calling her The Countess that she’s willing to correct people or cause a scene. Obviously CLASS and a CLASS SYSTEM, where she is at the top, is very important to her.

Bethenny's Recipes:

THE SKINNY GIRL MARGARITA:

• 2 oz of clear Tequila (Sauza or clear premium tequila)
  
• (count 1, 2 while you pour, no need for measuring)
•  A splash of fresh lime juice
  
• A splash of Cointreau, Grand Marnier or Triple Sec

Combine all ingredients over a glass of ice

Garnish with a lime wedge and salt (or sugar) if you’d like.

Makes one serving.

SKINNY GIRL LYCHEE MARTINIS:

• A rocks glass filled with ice
• 2 oz premium vodka (a 2 count) 
• 1 oz of lychee juice (a 1 count), you can purchase 20 oz cans of Lychees in their own syrup at the grocery store 
• 1 oz of club soda- it makes for a lighter drink
• 2 lychees, for garnish
• A chilled martini glass

• Shake well and strain into a chilled martini glass, add lychees for garnish. 
• (Optional) Prior to making the drink, rim the glass with fresh ginger, and dip in colored sugar (available at Williams Sonoma, etc…) 

Jill's Social Stats:

Has appeared on Page Six (New York’s gossip column) several times.

Has been mentioned by gossip writers Cindy Adams, Bill Cunningham, and Rush and Molloy. AND has been mentioned in the New York Social Diary NINETEEN TIMES…..which means a lot. Only real socialites get that kind of status.

Alex knows how to get people gossiping:

It’s no secret that Alex and her husband Simon are attempting to climb the social ladder- so does that mean she should get the attention with (drum roll please)….NUDE PHOTOS.

Isn’t that the oldest trick in the book??

Here are some headlines on Alex as of late:

- Alex McCord and hubby penning a new PARENTING BOOK
-Alex McCord speaks on nude photos, husbands sexuality and MORE.
-Alex McCord, loses job- feeling the affects of the recession.
-Reality check, housewives Alex McCord- STILL ANNOYING.

Who is Ramona??

Ramon is easily the “crazy” one of the group. Ramona is the one who will call out someone in a LESS than passive way, in inappropriate situations. I.E. Calling out The Countess’ “old” husband while helping out at a Cancer benefit, or judging her parenting skills for sending her daughter off to boarding school while enjoying a quiet lunch.

Ramona’s Bio:
She owns her own business, R.M.S. Fashions, a jewelry line, truefaithjewelry.com, a clothing line “True Faith,” and is developing a skin care line as well. She and her husband Mario, a third generation jeweler, and their 13-year-old daughter Avery, live in a condo in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. They also have a second home in Southampton. Ramona is an avid tennis player who loves to entertain.

Shortly after the premiere:

Who is COUNTESS Luann??

The Bio:

LuAnn de Lesseps is a trained nurse and a member of the Algonquin tribe of Connecticut. She is also French. She has two children, Victoria, age 14, and Noel, age 12, (who has dogs named Aston and Martin), with her husband, Count Alexandre de Lesseps, a descendant of Ferdinand de Lesseps of the Suez Canal dynasty. de Lesseps also teaches etiquette on morning television shows and has a local cable show on WVVH-TV in the Hamptons called “The Countess Report.”

Luann’s “mission”, to teach class:

“Today,  widely recognized as a manners and etiquette expert,  The  Countess’s mission is to share her world experiences  with people who desire to be comfortable in many different social situations.  With years of experience traveling the world,  many stops in European capitals and chic spots,  meeting some of the most recognized Kings, Queens and royalty, Luann realized the need for people from all walks of life to learn manners and etiquette;  from the proper way to set a table to  how to hold a conversation.  She believes that anyone  can learn how to be a  gracious and charming   person and with that be comfortable anywhere, anyplace, anytime. "

Luann says:

When offered beer at a party…“The Countess does not drink beer out of a bottle”

Who is Bethenny???

Bethenny is the one on that show that makes you go, now that girl has some SPIRIT, I’d like to have a drink with her. She’s the friend who tells it like it is.

Bethenny’s Bio:
Bethenny is also a natural food chef whose number-one goal is to democratize health, making it accessible, balanced and sustainable for everyone, not just the A-list celebrities and Hollywood elite that enjoy her signature baked goods and personal chef services. After graduating from The Natural Gourmet Institute for Health & Culinary Arts in New York, Bethenny’s passion for health and healing combined with her innovative culinary skills inspired her to create BethennyBakes™, a line of low fat, wheat, egg and dairy free baked goods launching in supermarkets nationwide. Bethenny has also been featured in dozens of publications and television shows, and writes a monthly column for Health Magazine, in her capacity as the publication’s health expert. Bethenny recently penned a new book, NATURALLY THIN (in stores March 2009), which will unleash and unshackle readers from a lifetime of dieting.

Bethenny’s Mission:
“Life is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s about the journey, not the destination, and that’s where I focus,”  and obviously, keeping people healthy.

Bethenny is also known for her line of “Skinny girl” cocktails- all the same flavors with half of the calories.

IF YOU’RE WONDERING WHY BETHENNY LOOKS FAMILIAR, SHE WAS A FINALIST ON THE APPRENTICE: MARTHA STEWART.

Can someone just make a "Jill and Bethenny Show"

They’re everyone’s favorite anyway.

Who is Jill Zarin???

Jill’s the one who starts off the season opener with a “cat fight.” Aimed at who? Another housewife of course. She’s brash, unapologetic, mouthy, loud, and what’s to be “in the know” at all times, she’s the “connector” of the show.

Jill’s Bio:
Jill Zarin is married to Bobby Zarin, a successful entrepreneur, and together they operate Zarin Fabrics and Home Furnishings. She is also involved in numerous charities; Help for Orphans International, Creaky Joints, Skip of New York, Jeffrey Modell Foundation, and People Reaching Out,

When Jill isn’t busy attempting to save the world, she’s a therapist to Bethenny, she’s playing a tennis match, or networking.

Who is Alex McCord??

Alex is the strange one of the group. She seems nice enough, but you can’t help but think that she’s slightly off. Alex is obsessed with shopping and social status. She can be found speaking French to her children Francois and Johan, or shopping for clothes in powder pink to dress her Husband in. ALSO, from the looks of her online resume- she is an aspiring “actress”, shocker.

Alex’s Bio:
McCord is an extremely busy woman with a career, two children (Francois & Johan), a husband (Simon van Kempen). Her children take music, art, swimming and French classes in their free time, and their Au pair speaks French to them, in hopes the kids will be bilingual. Francois attends a public school in Brooklyn. McCord works in visual merchandising for a high profile fashion company. McCord was born in Washington DC and has lived in Washington DC; St Thomas USVI; Dallas, TX; Fort Scott, KS; Chicago, IL; and Milan, Italy. She has lived in New York City since 1996 and currently resides in Cobble Hill in Brooklyn.

Some parenting tips from Alex McCord:

That may or may not be working (considering her Hellish children, that seem to lack SERIOUS manners)

•Parent your children — don’t patronize them. You can keep law and order in the house while still respecting their evolving intelligence.
•If you wouldn’t eat it yourself, don’t feed it to your children.
•Remember that kids are learning every waking second of the day. Enjoy that because it’s magical, and be aware of the tremendous opportunity to teach them.

Who is Simon???

Simon is the questionably gay husband to Alex.

Simon is from Australia and runs the Hotel Chandler on 31st street- he can be found asking for advice on which color loafers to wear with his D&G jacket “baby blue?” and he can spend hours consulting his wife on what she should wear to her next social gathering.

Who is Kelly???

Kelly is “the new housewife” a former model and “real life” socialite, Kelly is the one who is still neutral, she isn’t terribly likable or hateable …..yet. She’s rides horses, doesn’t drink in the afternoon and hobnobs with her tomboy-like charm with celebrities and wealthy New Yorkers.

Kelly’s Bio:
Kelly was married to famous French photographer Giles Bensimon and has two daughters with him. Kelly modeled for magazines such as Elle, Mademoiselle, Cosmopolitan, and Harper’s Bazaar and was the face for Clarins. After graduating, Kelly began writing for Hamptons magazine. There she created the column “In the Spirit of the Hamptons” and “Most Wanted”. Her column initiated the “In the spirit of…” a series for influential French publisher Assouline. She then helped Niche Media create and launch Gotham magazine in 2001. She remains the editor for both Hamptons and Gotham magazines. She was then named Editor of Elle Accessories in 2005 when she created and launched the magazines first two issues. Author of In The Spirit of the Hamptons (2002)⁴ and American Style (year 2004), Kelly also wrote The Bikini Book, (2006), which explores the history of the bikini, and commemorates the swimsuit’s 60th anniversary.

So now that you've been introduced....