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Pretend You're in an Actual City Without Leaving L.A.
- by gillians
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- August 26, 2008
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A frequent complaint of L.A. 'transplants' (I'm not sure when that moniker goes away - I think as soon as you shut up about how terrible L.A. is) is that our fine city isn't actually like a city : it's too sprawling, no one takes public transportation, there's no real downtown, etc. This doesn't really bother me, I normally will just ignore these people, but it turns out it's not actually that difficult to do the whole "urban" thing in L.A.
Walk Somewhere
By which I mean, get hit by a car. I wouldn’t call L.A. “pedestrian friendly” – but it seems to me that such an assesment is true to the Real City Experience™. Just look both ways. And wear reflectors. And, maybe hold hands. And, try to walk somewhere so that you don’t actually have to cross the street. Just to be safe.
Take a Train Downtown
What is it about cities that makes people so desperate to sit in close proximity to strangers and never talk to them? The subway, the bus, tiny restaurants…I don’t get it. I value my personal space too much, I guess. Anyway.
The Los Angeles subway is actually really fun and just like any subway, you’ll encounter all kinds of colorful characters. They’ll mostly ignore you, they might stare at you, or if you’re lucky (like I was) first they’ll try to get you saved (you know, by jeeezus) and when you ignore them, they’ll call you fat. Just like a real city!
Union Station
If you end up taking the train downtown, take a minute to soak up the atmosphere of Union Station. Then take the next 20 minutes to get to anywhere you actually want to be.
Metro
This website is craptastic – but it will give you the bus & rail schedule. Eventually.
Figaro Cafe
1802 N Vermont Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90027
This tiny parisian cafe in Los Feliz is so urban! You get to squeeze into a table right next to some people you don’t know! Tres chic!
This tiny parisian cafe in Los Feliz is so urban! You get to squeeze into a table right next to some people you don’t know! Tres chic!
Redcat Roy and Edna Disney-Cal Arts Theater
631 W 2nd St, Los Angeles, CA 90012
For some reason, people in real cities just love going to the theatre. And I don’t just mean big productions like the ones that come to the Pantages and stay for years (will Wicked EVER close?). No, city people love “experimental theatre” which they dare not spell with an “er.” This often means one man (or woman) shows where some self-indulgent and really ridiculous actor actually does an entire play (which is probably based on his or her own life and how it was so difficult to be raised by parents who just don’t understand art) by him or herself and there is almost always some kind of projectile fluids involved. Yeah, I don’t know why they don’t just go to the movies either…
For some reason, people in real cities just love going to the theatre. And I don’t just mean big productions like the ones that come to the Pantages and stay for years (will Wicked EVER close?). No, city people love “experimental theatre” which they dare not spell with an “er.” This often means one man (or woman) shows where some self-indulgent and really ridiculous actor actually does an entire play (which is probably based on his or her own life and how it was so difficult to be raised by parents who just don’t understand art) by him or herself and there is almost always some kind of projectile fluids involved. Yeah, I don’t know why they don’t just go to the movies either…
Museum of Contemporary Art
250 S Grand Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90012
Contemporary Art is soooo urban. Especially when it nestles itself in the shadows of downtown skyscrapers.
Contemporary Art is soooo urban. Especially when it nestles itself in the shadows of downtown skyscrapers.
Take the Stairs
This guy has a 16+ mile route of stairs through the hills. Ok, this isn’t very urban, but it IS very cool.
Sleep in a Closet
Wait. I do sleep in a closet…
Let's Get Out of This Country
“What does the city have to offer me / everyone else thinks it’s the bee’s knees / What does the city have to offer me / I just can’t see”
Get mugged
Whatever, mom, L.A. isn’t that dangerous.
I told you...
…people in cities just love to be right next to each other. Even if there is plenty of room.
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so after watching the pianist at los feliz 3 many years ago, we were all depressed and needed a drink. so we stopped by figaro cafe. it was late night and we noticed one of the patrons – it was kiefer – jack bauer himself! he was hammered but very happy, hugging everybody in sight.
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Love Figaro Cafe, this guide is great. lol.
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what do you mean mugged??
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