Categories: Humor; Misc.

Positively Matt Fried, in New York and Elsewhere

By mattfriedinNY
updated 3 months ago

Matt Fried remains an enigma, and that's the way he likes it. What do you need to know about him at this point? Writer, comedian, New Yorker, singer, musician, icon, iconoclast, smoke and mirrors, former student body president, beatnik, weirdo, everyman, Nobel Peace Prize finalist. If you ever mention "Voice of His Generation" anywhere in his earshot, he winces and stares you down from his black sunglasses. For years he has spoken in code and limericks, but he has finally decided to break down and let someone in on the joke. Who knows how much of this is real, and how much is a set up for his next big character assassination. Either way, it makes for one hell of a story.

Matt Fried was born in a coal-mining town in the southern half of New Jersey. From a young age, he knew he wanted to be something, he just didn’t know what. “My stepfather was a fundamentalist cobbler and my mom was a crazy bird from the 1960s; it was a fun household. I learned how to play the moonshine jug at nine.” But small town dreaming would eventually lead him to the mecca, New York City. “My life was fine, but there was nothing for me in South Jersey. New York was glamour. I felt like something was happening there that I was missing out on. So, when I left, there were no arguments. I worked my way up the turnpike, and had to put int time working odd jobs: a roadside psychic in Freehold, a deputy sheriff in Trenton, carnival barker in Paramus, and the manager of a flooring company in Hoboken. I landed a job in New York in 2006, the rest is pretty much history.” Matt Fried arrived in Manhattan in April 2006.

IFC Center

323 Avenue Of The Americas, New York, NY 10014

Fried was known to come here often during the summer of ‘05. Supposedly, when the new print of Dont Look Back ran at IFC for only a week, he saw it every single night it ran. Sometime he would show up unkempt, unshaven, wearing Ray-Bans. The ushers learned to stop asking questions after the third show.

Lucky Cheng's

24 First Avenue, New York, NY 10009

A friend recalled seeing Matt after attending a birthday party at Lucky Cheng’s, “He went there with his cousin, who moonlighted as a dominatrix. It being a drag bar and the party being made-up of his cousin’s clientele, Matt said it was surprisingly amiable and fun. Later that night, he got led to a back room where they put together a makeshift dungeon and he got to watch his cousin at play. It was disturbing. He never was the same. From that day forward, he always came off as a bit more crazed… but funnier.”

The Peoples Improv Theater

154 West 29th Street New York, NY 10001

“Finding the PIT was kind of like when Bob Dylan found Cafe Wha? It was like a temple, and I was some world-weary kid looking to learn kung-fu from the Zen master. I was studying improv at other theaters, but The PIT gave me opportunities to perform regularly at open mike jams. A year into it, it just made sense to start taking classes there, too. That theater gave me a lot. It was a home base. Like the Bat Cave.” -Matt Fried, 2012

Triple Crown Restaurant & Ale

330 7th Avenue, New York, NY 10001

The improv comedy watering hole Fried was known to hang out at. He was known to no one there outside of his fellow performers. Though during the summers, he did close the bar a handful of times. Often, a groupie would be leaving with him in those circumstances.

The Comic Strip

1568 Second Avenue, New York, NY 10028

After coming into comedy, Fried tried his hand at stand-up with moderate success. “I cut my teeth at The Comic Strip on The Upper East Side. The environment was supportive, but very old school; not the place to be doing what I wanted to do. Stand-up and improv are two different beasts, and I was trying to be a superstar. Either way, it was fun while it lasted.”

Matt Fried opted to live in Brooklyn over Manhattan. “New York was too expensive by the time I got there. I was lucky with some of my breaks, but if it wasn’t the money, the people would’ve killed me.” His first year, he lived in Flatbush, a predominantly working-class, Caribbean neighborhood. Coming from the New Jersey suburbs to the ghetto was an interesting change of scene. He often joked about his born-again Christian neighborhoods trying to convert him, or the shifty glances he got on his walk to the subway. It was not ideal, but there was a romanticism about it that he missed when he moved to the more affluent Park Slope in the fall of 2007. “Flatbush is a community. People here ‘the ‘hood’ and they either fear for your life, or they think ‘Cheap rent.’ Yeah, I was the odd man out, but it was different – it was a chance to see something for myself that often gets exploited. In a weird way, I miss it. The people were nice. I only got followed home twice, and threatened on the 2 train once. It wasn’t that bad.”

After getting fired from his first office job, Fried went back to work at his old job from college: barista at Starbucks. He opted to work in Midtown, near the theater district. He served a few Broadway celebrities and often failed at picking up women, “That damn green apron, like kryptonite.” Despite minor setbacks, the job keyed him into people and what they wanted. Though he would say “Don’t mess around with someone’s coffee order. Not in New York. I’d rather be mugged at gunpoint, than forget to put foam on someone’s latte.”

Actors Equity

1560 Broadway, New York, NY 10036

There are stories of Matt Fried showing up here for a good run of auditions. He got his Equity card six months out of college. “Walking into the Equity building was like walking into a clubhouse. I got seen for a lot of shows, but never booked anything, or got a callback. It didn’t bother me; improv was becoming my new priority. At one point, I said to myself ‘What is really making it worth it to keep auditioning?’ The only answer I could come up with was ‘The dance calls.’ That would be when some big Broadway show was looking for chorus members, and all of these beautiful dancers – with lawyer fiances – would show up in leotards. It was hot, but eye candy is never a good reason to commit your life to anything.”

Matt Fried was always here. In January, he was often seen here with his girlfriend, Ella Forn, a political science major at Columbia. He never talked about her, but journal entries and personal accounts from friends note that he and Ella would often sneak into Bryant Park at night to watch the fountain light up. When interviewed, Forn said he started writing poetry again, mostly about her. No evidence has yet validated that claim. Matt Fried loved Ella Forn, but she broke his heart in the summer when she left for London to take a job with data gathering firm. They never spoke again, though Ella claimed to miss him. Fried often returned to Bryant Park, sometimes with an accordion and a tin cup, singing forgotten Italian love songs from the 1910s.

Joe's Pizza

7 Carmine Street, New York, NY 10014

In his journals, Fried wrote often about eating at Joe’s during the winter of 2007. “Pizza is always great. $5.00 gets you two slices and a Snapple. Robbery anywhere else, but a bargain in New York.”

Virgin Megastores

1540 Broadway, New York, NY 10036

Inbetween auditions, Matt Fried would wonder the aisles of Virgin Megastore or play a display video games until it was time to get seen, again. He often said being a regular at Virgin while living in Flatbush was like taking a diabetic kid, and feeding it pure cane sugar for three hours straight.

Lit Lounge

93 2nd Ave Frnt, New York, NY 10003

“Fights at Lit? No, that never happend, man. It’s not my fault that some guy and his chick have some weird private arrangement and I’m in the middle of it, unbeknownst to me. Have you ever seen a hipster throw a punch? It’s kinda sad. His girl was no better: she makes out with me and then wants me to defend her against her own boyfriend. I just showed up to dance and hear some music. I didn’t ask to be anyone’s Romeo. Hipsters are turning into maniacs in this town – foaming-at-the-mouth, knife-wielding maniacs.” -Matt Fried, December 2007

Hummus Place

109 Saint Marks Pl, New York, NY 10009

The staff at The Hummus Place knew Matt Fried well. He was thought of as nice and quiet. There was no news of antics or acts of depravity inside the walls of his favorite food nook. He was known to order the mix of the hummus maschaba, tahini, and fava with whole wheat pita, hot sauce, and a glass of homemade lemonade. He never tried the beers there. One waitress remarked that he would come with work: a book to read, writing in a notebook, or he’d just watch people as they passed by on the street. Always polite, and tipped well.