Palin vs. Putin, a Battle Royal

by elguapo
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September 21, 2009

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A couple weeks ago, Governor Palin warned Katie Couric of the national security dangers Russia poses as "Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace of the United States of America." "Where, where do they go?" asked Palin, "It's Alaska." So what if Sarah is right? What if Putin does rear his bald little head and come to Alaska to face off with the Governor Lady? Who would win in a fight? Before the funny lady from Alaska becomes completely irrelevant, read the guide below to see how the two stack up...

(1) Most Notable Foreign Policy Experience

Putin: Recently invaded sovereign nation of Georgia

Palin: Has won the game of Risk at last three Palin Family game nights.

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Any bozo could easily invade defenseless Georgia with an army of Russian tanks and Mig Jets. That’s easy. My advice to Mr. Putin: try taking on forty-two territories, grouped into six continents with only a pair of dice.

Advantage: Palin

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(5) How They Relax

Putin: Nude trout fishing.

Palin: Mowing down timberwolves from aeroplanes with automatic weapons; also enjoys pool parties.

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One wears sissy waders and uses artful arrangement of feathers to catch two-pound trout. The other relaxes by mowing down terrorist-timberwolves from airplanes.

Advantage: Palin

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