Post-Election Jobs for Sarah Palin

Sarah the Plumber

“We flush your campaign right down the toilet!!”

Interior Decorator

Let this VPILF redecorate your living room with the latest styles from Alaska’s hottest designers such as the Giant Grizzly Couch and Crab Coffee Table seen here from Caribou Couture in Wasilla, AK

Costume Queen of Wasilla

Make billions by officially licensing the most overplayed Halloween costume of 2008.

Personal Auto Mechanic for McCain Campaign

Would be familiar territory for the Governor Lady, having already been thrown under the Straight Talk Express by the McCain campaign team.

Celebrity Ninja

Any half-baked celebrity-ninja like Arnold or Jesse the body could go from the silver screen to the Governor’s office, but it takes a real judo choppin’ maverick to do the opposite.

If anyone could do it, it would be the governor Lady. To all you doubters out there, just remember this: You take the L out of her name and Palin spells Pain.

Celebrity Ninja Spokesperson for NRA

Since Celebrity Ninja, Charlton Heston passed away, the National Rifle Association has been searching for a new celebrity ninja to take his place.

NRA, I think you can end your search now!!

Freelance Writer at Guidespot.com

God knows they’ll hire anyone there…

Model for Neimum Marcus' New Commercial Fisherman Clothing Catalogue

Marc Jacobs Rubber Fishing Smock: $1425

Prada Gloves: $600

Ed Hardy Vintage Hat: $160

Dolce and Gabanna Sunglasses: $230

Sexy Librarian

You remember the sexy librarian from just about any 80s flick that took place in a high school. Bookish and reserved by day, this character magically transforms into a vivacious sex kitten once the glasses come off and the she takes the bobby pins out of her bun.

Please note, the following titles cannot be found in Sexy Sarah’s library: Abortions are for Lovers, Drugs are Fun and Homosexuals Are Nice People

Alternatively, the Governor Lady would make an excellent sexy teacher

Sexy Sunday School Teacher

Yes, it’s true, dinosaurs are in the bible!! (They’re in the old old testament).

You can look it up yourself. For more facts about God and Reptiles see JesusDinosaursAndMore.com

Magician's Assistant

I don’t know why, maybe it’s the hairdo or the scantily clad photos of her, but for some reason she’s always reminded me of one of those girls who prance around the stage in a leotard, top hat and high heels.

Rogue Wave

Palin takes “going rogue” to a new level by transforming into giant tsunami.