There's a NAME for that??

Peen

Get your mind out of the gutter!

No, not crotch rockets. It’s the end of a hammer head that is opposite the striking face.

Minimus

I have to wonder at the dignity of the lateral-most toe on either foot when its technical name is “minimus.”

Liripipe

Really? The super long hood on the back of a graduate school graduation gown is a “liripipe”? I would’ve just gone with “pretentious.”

Rowel

Yeah, the little revolving star on the back of a cowboy’s spurs is called a rowel. I have a secret fantasy that cowboys in the old west wore huge rowels if they were insecure about the size of their packages.

Rasceta

The creases on the inside of the wrist – and another body part that doesn’t need its own goddamn name. No wonder doctors get paid so much; they have to memorize bull$%^ like this.

Ferrule

I have a bone to pick with the metal band on a pencil that holds the eraser in place. The story involves a sophomore year anxious oral fixation, chewing on pencils, and the surprise discovery that I had worn my front teeth down by half a centimeter. Dentist visits and pain ensued.

After that I switched to mechanical pencils.

Phosphenes

The luminous impressions are due to the excitation of the retina caused by pressure on the eyeball. So, when you squeeze your eyes shut, or perhaps go on a wee trip with some psychedelics, this is what you’re seeing.

Grawlix

It’s the stupid f%^#ing set of mishmash characters used to denote cussing in comic books. F$% who ever came up with that f$ing idiotic concept.

Scroop

The sound of silk rustling. Why does this have a name? What’s next – a name for the noise that velcro makes when you unfasten it? Words are precious, to be used wisely and judiciously. Rustle wasn’t good enough for silk? It had to have its own noise verb?

Dragees

Did you ever eat a cake with little silver balls all over it, and wonder what they were? And if they were edible? And then your colon paid for it later?

As it turns out, dragees are the little metallic pseudo-edible culprits. And they can f#$% right off.

Armsaye

This is so obvious that I cannot fathom why anyone possibly thought that the armhole of a shirt needed any other name than “armhole” unless they are an “asshole.”

Zarf

I actually find the name for the metallic frame handle for a handle-less mug to be quite delightful. Zarf. Zarf zarf zarf. Zarfy zarf zaaaaaaaaarf.