Avoid the Lines: How to do the Obama Inauguration in 24 Hours or Less

6:00 AM-7:30 AM: Pay Tribute to Past Presidents

You’re going to DC to celebrate a new era in American history but you can’t go to DC without  paying tribute to some our our nation’s past presidents as well.

Unfortunately ALL of the famous monuments will be super-crowded during Inauguration week.  If there is one monument to go see, I suggest visiting the FDR Memorial.  The crowds for this monument are usually a quite a bit shorter than the lines for the Big Three (Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson) but the monument itself is just as impressive. It is filled with inspirational quotes and beautiful fountains; overall it’s a nice change of pace from the gigantic-ness of the other monuments.

8:00-8:45 AM Get an Obama Hair Cut

You’re going to the Inauguration.  You can’t go looking like a shlepper. Look sharp.  Be a Mensch and go get yourself a nice haircut.  

In addition to getting you all cleaned up for inauguration night, DC barber shops are a hotbed of insider news from the politicos on Capitol Hill. So listen up while you’re getting your trim. You might learn something.

Here’s where you can get good trim so you look sharp during this historic event.

Diego’s Hair Salon for Men and Women. Don’t be fooled by the name.  This place should really be called Diego’s Barber Shop for Old Geezer Dudes.  In all my years going I don’t think I ever saw a woman inside the shop besides Diego’s wife who works there on the weekends when it is extra busy.

The cool part about Diego’s is not the hair cut.  (the hair cuts are ok)  The cool part is that Diego knows every single senator, congressman, ambassador, lobbyist and supreme court justice in Washington (he was a pallbearer at Justice Rehnquist funeral) and  if you’re lucky you might just overhear some interesting inside political news you didn’t know about…

You can check him out on Yelp

Unfortunately, to get into Diego’s you’ll have about an hour wait at the minimum…

If you want to skip the lines but still eavesdrop on beltway gossip, go to the Hair Cuttery in Dupont Circle.  This is no regular Hair Cuttery.  This is the Hair Cuttery where famed political advisor, Donna Brazille, gets her hair cut.  There’s plenty of good insider gossip going on here, but you won’t have to face the long lines you’ll see at Diego’s.

9:00 AM-9:25 AM Get your Copy of the Audacity of Hope at a DC Book Store

Just in case you fight through the throngs of millions and actually catch a glimpse of the president at the inauguration, make sure you have a book handy to throw at him so he can sign it for you.

You can purchase your book at any of these fine purveyors of literary goods.

The best bookstore in DC is Politics and Prose. They’ll often host book readings by famous scribes like Huff Post contributor and novelist Elinor Lipman and famed white guy, Christian Lander

If the lines at Politics and Prose are out the door, come to KramerBooks and Afterwords Cafe; This is a DC institution that also has a patio cafe built into the bookstore so you can pick up the latest Bob Woodword book and then stay for their famous Porker’s brunch and eggs. 

For this week only, they’re serving an Inaugural Weekend Brunch Menu featuring Obama Family Chili, Biden Pot Pie and other assorted presidential delicacies.  Check out the menu here; and scroll down to the bottom for special menu.

9:45 AM-2:45 PM Join Millions of People to view Obama Inaguration

Get in line to view the Obama Inauguration. This will take hours and will probably frustrate the crap out of you because you are going to be miles away from seeing or hearing anything historic.  Your best bet while standing in line for 6 hours is to watch the inauguration live on your iPhone through a YouTube Live Streaming feed.  SWEET!!!

3:00 PM Buy and eat hot dog on the street from a DC hot dog cart

You haven’t had the full DC experience until you purchase a DC Dog from one of the thousands of unregulated street meat carts around the city.

3:30PM-5:30 PM ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....Take an Inaugural Nap

All this inaugurating is tiring.  Take your first power nap of the Obama era. You’re going to need the rest to keep going all night.

6:00PM-8:00PM Eat at DC's famous ethnic restaurants

You’re gonna wanna try some DC delicacies on your inauguration trip.  Lucky for you, with all the world’s embassies within 8 square miles, DC is famous for its bountiful ethnic restaurants from Ethiopian to Vietnamese.

A recent study came out the other day urging Barack Obama to forge stronger ties with India

DC has some phenomenal Indian food so I suggest you forge some better relations with delicious lamb Vindaloo.

The best place to grab Indian food in the City is Rasika

This place is AWESOME…but everyone who’s cool knows it’s awesome so it will be super-crowded during Inauguration.

However, to beat the crowds go to Indique; This place has great Indian food.  Everything on the menu is tasty and reasonably priced.  For $15 you can’t beat the Lamb Biriyani.  It’s the best in DC.

9:00 PM to 2:00 AM Drink the Night Away at a Capitol Hill Bar

Chances are you’re not going to be able to sneak your way into one of the $1000 Inaugural Balls throughout the city.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t join in on the party. 

Drink it up!  Celebrate the inauguration at a politically themed, Capitol Hill bar.

Hawk an Dove

This is a famous dive-y Irish bar where capitol hill staffers come to kibbitz and gripe about their congressmen bosses.  Both republicans and dems frequent this place so no matter what side you are on, you can come here to share a  beer with friends and frienemies.

Check them out on Yelp

…But Hawk and Dove (and every other good bar in DC) will undoubtedly be crowded.  Skip the lines and head to one of these crap-holes instead…

For cheap inaugural beers on Capitol Hill try the Pour house or the 18th Amendment instead

2:30 AM-3:00 AM Grab a late-night Post Inauguration meal

The best place in the city to grab a late night meal is Ben’s Chili Bowl in the U-Street Corridor.  This place is a Washington establishment that has been around for 50+ years and has lines out the door on an average Saturday night.  There’s no way you’ll get in during Inauguration week, but if you absolutely insist on going, don’t mess with perfection — make sure to order the classic half smoke and chili fries.

The second best place to grab a late night meal is Julia’s empenada’s; There are 5 locations in the city but the most popular ones are in Dupont Circle on Connecticut and Adam’s Morgan.  Really good empenadas and they’re open late for all you drunkies…

3:30 AM-4:30 AM Take Inaugural Sleep...

5:00 AM, wake up and get a Good, Greasy Breakfast to Soak up the Post Inauguration Hangover

The Diner in Adams Morgan is the most popular place to people watch on a Sunday morning while noshing on eggs and shitty diner coffee.  The food here is nothing special, but the crowd is eclectic and fun to stare at. Unfortunately, even on a regular weekend, there’s usually a 45 minute wait to get a table here.

Here are some Diner reviews on Yelp

Your better choice is to head over the Duke Ellington Bridge into Woodley Park where you can go to Open City.  This restaurant is owned by the same people that own the Diner and mostly catches the overflow from the original Adams Morgan haunt.

Get the OC Royale and ask for Ali as your waitress.  She’s the best server in DC and will give you extra bacon if you ask nicely.

Here’s an Open City Review from the Wash Post

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