"Never have I ever __________."

by aliciak
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August 04, 2009
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Remember that game? Where you had to put down a finger and/or drink when you DID do something someone mentioned? Okay, at times it was awkward and downright embarrassing, and admit it, you lied once or twice because you didn't want to come off as lame-o. Go on, fill in the blank! But not too risque, ok?

Been To California

As many times as I have sung along with Robert Plant about going to California, as many O.C./Beverly Hills/Melrose Place episodes I have watched (um, the number is simply abominable) and as many books I have read about the place, Never have I ever been to California! Please leave a comment if you would like to fund a trip for me and I will send you my paypal email address.

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Had a 9-5 Job

Yes, it’s true. How un-American of me. Not only have I never had a 9-5 job, I have never had a job where I have a desk of my own. (Unless you count teaching, but it was shared and we didn’t put anything in it b/c it was in a Bronx HS classroom and I never had time to sit down).
I prefer 80 hours a week of freelancing or teaching, split between 5-7 jobs, none with a so-called “office space,” NO benefits, NO days off, NO water coolers and NO mandatory sexual harassment videos. This also means I don’t know what a 401K is, I have never had a “lunch hour,” and the only Christmas bonus I ever received was a packet of hot cocoa in an envelope. No, really. Education departments are notoriously POOR!

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I’ve never seen the Godfather trilogy in its entirety (I’m so ashamed!)

added by Elijay 12/01/2008

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Learned How To Ride A Bike

Nor do I have any interest at this point… until I develop a deathwish.

added by Matt Fried 07/25/2009

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: by susie 07/25/2009

Wait, what? You’ve never ridden a bike?? That’s kind of awesome. You should get on one just to see what happens.

: by aliciak 07/25/2009

Are you for real???

: by matt_fried 07/27/2009

Yes, I’m for real. Never learned how to ride one, and never really want to.

: by susie 07/28/2009

You have to just try. And videotape yourself. And post the video to Guidespot. That’s all.

: by aliciak 07/28/2009

Seriously. I thought learning how to ride a bike was as universally American as learning how to read, play capture the flag, sing the Star-Spangled Banner.

: by ceembee 08/01/2009

I never learned either. My parents tried to teach me, but it never seemed to work since I’m a klutz. I can drive a stick shift car now though, and most people can’t do that, so I’m compensating.

: by aliciak 08/04/2009

I am jealous—I cannot drive a stick.

: by susie 08/05/2009

I can’t drive manual either. My bf has one and wants to teach me but I’ve already tried once and it was pretty awful!

: by matt_fried 08/11/2009

Learning how to read, and riding a bike are two entirely different things. If I were to learn how to ride a bike, when the hell would I ride one? And where? On Flatbush Avenue during rush hour?

: by pinkhearts 08/11/2009

but everyone knows how to ride a bike and its not as dangerous as riding in a car. Not a lot of people crash their bikes into each other and die

: by matt_fried 08/11/2009

But they do get run over by cars and Mac trucks. I’ve seen it happen once or twice here in New York. To be terribly honest: I don’t see what the big deal is.

: by aliciak 08/11/2009

Haha I ride everywhere in NYC. Hello greenways! Are you sure you live here???

: by susie 08/11/2009

Yeah I’m scared to ride a bike in Boston too. It’s way dangerous… But I DO know how to ride one. Just in case :)

: by pinkhearts 08/11/2009

Everyone should know how to ride a bike end of discussion:)

: by matt_fried 08/12/2009

NO! They should have a choice! Jeez – now I know what it feels like to be a victim of Prop 8!

: by aliciak 08/12/2009

Haha we totally are ganging up on Matt here. But I have to say, I don’t know anyone over the age of 5 who doesn’t know how to ride a bike. ;) Well, now I do!

Broken a Bone

Which is very surprising, considering how clumsy I am and how often my head is in the clouds and I trip over my own feet. I’ve had many ER trips, sports injuries and even one ambulance ride to date, but I have never broken so much as a pinky.
There’s a good chance that if I did break a bone, I wouldn’t go to the hospital and it would heal improperly as I like to solve problems “with time.” Time heals all, right? Except for this one time when I had an allergic reaction but decided to take my midterms anyway because they’re important. I couldn’t even hold a pen and began to lose feeling in all of my extremities, but I was fine! I’d rather take an impossibly difficult English Lit. exam without the usage of my fingers than go to the hospital!

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Owned a New Car :-(

Not that I wouldn’t love to have something besides a throwback beater… in fact, the closest I’ve ever come is a car that was over 5 years off the market. I test drive new cars all the time, but that’s only for the free hot dogs and Thanksgiving turkeys.

added by JayFerris 11/28/2008

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Seen a Star Wars Movie

Nope not even part of one. And since I’ve gone 26 years withut seeing one, I’m pretty sure I’ll go the rest of my life. I have absolutely NO desire to watch Star Wars.

added by Susie 01/21/2009

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: by hi_liner 11/26/2008 Reply

All through high school I sang with Robert Plant and told all my friends I was going to move to CA someday. In college I went there for my first spring break and listened to Led Zeppelin on the three hour drive out of Montana to the Spokane airport. I need to pull that song back out of the archives, it has been awhile.

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About The Author

aliciak

Tribeca

I like to: crochet, eat, read, write, go to museums, watch old movies, cook, bake, observe children, visit the library, travel, cut my own hair, explore New York, mix gin drinks, bike ride, take photographs, keep in touch with people, be crafty, swim in the ocean, make bets, and read blogs and ca...