My New Obsession: Werner Herzog

Even Dwarfs Started Small (1970)

Language: German

The entire cast of “Even Dwarfs Started Small” are dwarfs. (Sidenote: I googled the difference between dwarfs and dwarves. Dwarves are made up like in Tolkien, dwarfs are real people.) These dwarfs have gained control of the institution in which they were kept.

Scenes include:

• Blind dwarfs bouncing on a dead pig. Really, the pig is dead.
• Chickens eating chickens.
• Dwarfs crucifying a monkey.
• Dwarfs pushing a car into a big hole.
• Really tiny dwarf going, “Heh, heh. Yah, yah. Heh, heh,” throughout the movie.

The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser (1974)

Language: German

Based on a true story, which really means most of it is wildly speculative, this is a horribly sad story of a boy abandoned in a town barely able to speak or walk. He was in his teens, and just left with an unsigned note, obviously written by the one who abandoned him.

He was treated as part circus freak attraction, part scientific study, and was stabbed to death by a stranger who may have been the same man who abandoned him. This is the case in the movie, at least.

Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

Languages: German, English

A remake of a 1922 silent film, “Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens,” this film features Klaus Kinski, one of the most insane men ever.

Aguirre, the Wrath of God (1972)

Language: English, dubbed into German

Telling the story of the quest for El Dorado, “Aguirre, the Wrath of God” is titled for the character played by Klaus Kinski (see above: the crazy one). Herzog and Kinski famously clashed over the role during filming, traumatizing the crews and other cast members. Kinski also let his temper out on other actors, at one point actually beating a guy over the head with a sword during a shot, instead of just pretending to, which is what actors are supposed to do.

In the film, pretty much all the characters die, except, of course, Aguirre, who tells a few hundred monkeys that he will marry his daughter.

Yeah, creepy.

Heart of Glass (1976)

Language: German

Heart of Glass tells the story of a town in Bavaria looking for the lost secret of creating ruby-colored glass, a trick lost with the death of the master glassblower. But no, it couldn’t be that simple, not with Herzog directing. And it isn’t: nearly every actor in the movie is performing under hypnosis. This truly unique directing choice creates one of the most bizarrely performed movies in existence.