Jokes about Women

by donnyc
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September 03, 2008
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And here's the challenge....clean ones.

Lord, Build Me A Bridge....

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”
The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.” The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic! Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking.
The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific? The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.
Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me.” The man thought about it for a long time.
Finally he said,“Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife! I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says ‘nothings wrong’, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?

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Fore!

A woman asked her husband, “If I die and you remarry, will your new wife live in our house?”

“Of course, it’s paid for,” he replied.

“Will she drive my car?”

“Of course, it’s paid for,” he replied.

“Will she use my golf clubs?”

“Oh, no. She’s left-handed.”

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Police Intelligence

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license.

She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

“What does it look like?” she finally asked. The policewoman replied, “It’s square and it has your picture on it.”

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. “Here it is,” she
said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “Okay, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop.”

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Blonde Jokes - These can apply to both men and women but usually assumed it is a blone woman.

Q: Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory?

A: She kept throwing away the W’s

Hard to stay clean with blond jokes but here is another one.

Q: What do you call a brunette between two blonds?

A: An interpreter

That’s it for now. Ask for clean and all of sudden I can’t think of any.

added by Shawna 09/03/2008

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About The Author

donnyc

Capital Hill

You flippin' kids think you have it so tough these days. Well, you don't! I didn't have this thing you call "the internet" with its buttons and whistles and who-cha-ma-koos. I read paper books. I milked leather cows. I wore rubbers on my feet.