Moving Out and On in New York

By aliciak
updated 3 months ago

Well, crap. Not only are you breaking up after 3 years, but you have the complications of a shared apartment, shared bills and shared belongings to now sort through. Let's not even get started on the emotions involved...no wait, let's! Ups and downs, highs and lows, reminiscing about the good times while still being reminded of the bad. As you gradually unwind the intertwined strings of your two lives, I hereby give you the guide to moving out (or staying put while he/she moves out), and on, and upwards in New York as you do so. From a woman's perspective.

The Facts

Face it, when you live together for years, breaking up is akin to a divorce. All of those “I”s became “We”s and you can’t remember where he begins and you end. You bought things together, split up paying the bills, bought joint memberships to places. He is your dining partner 80% of the time, your sleeping partner 100% of the time, but no more.

It’s time to move out, or in my case, for him to move out, and time to move on.

Make a Break-Up Mix

No longer the “mix tape”, folks, we are tech-savvy and make muxtapes now! Were you one of those couples who made lovey-dovey mixes for each other? We were…

...so go out with a bang and make the ultimate break-up version, with all those sad songs about failed love. It’s cathartic! And then ask your not-boyfriend/girlfriend (I made up that term and adore it way more than “ex-) to do the same like I did.

West Elm

112 W 18th Street, New York, NY 10011

Now is the time to get that oversized couch (made from sustainable materials preferably) you never really needed; sure, you should save up your $$$ now that rent has doubled, but a lot of sitting down and contemplating will be going on in the next few weeks. You may as well get comfy.

Muji USA Limited

455 Broadway, New York, NY 10013

Because their mission statement is this: “It’s about designing your own life—not someone else’s. It’s a belief that simple is better than complicated. And it’s the knowledge that real simplicity is always the result of openness and honesty.”

Which translates in my head to: “You will be so much better off without him! He only made the apartment dirty and never did the dishes! Everything was always so complicated! Now let’s go buy some Muji housewares.”

Cb2

451 Broadway Frnt A, New York, NY 10013

“Affordable modern” is the name of the game here at Crate & Barrel’s new little sister store, CB2. Which is perfect, because you are all about NOT being stuck in the past and you’re actually going to have to pay the phone bill now.

Project Self-Esteem Revitilization

I never thought I’d say it now, because I so rarely do, in general, but boy do I want to go shopping! It’s hard enough to purge all those feelings from deep within and keep them away, without still being constantly reminded of them because, look, there’s a shirt he MADE for Valentine’s Day, underwear he bought because I won a bet, anniversary earrings that complemented my eyes, and countless other things that enduringly cling.

I’m not one to set all these gifts aflame, no “out with the old, in with the new” mentality, but instead, how about “appreciate the old, look forward to the new”? In other words, buy pristine threads, with the perfectly-folded creases still in place.

Victoria's Secret

115 5th Avenue, New York, NY 10003

It is such a cliche among women to shop here, and yet, at a time like this, there’s a peculiar camaraderie felt at an in-your-face sexy lingerie store.

The 8 years of hardcore, intellectual, feminist all-women’s education makes me want to hate Victoria’s Secret, but I have learned there’s nothing wrong with feeling good about what you’re wearing and what you look like. Make it all about YOU.

It is such a cliche among women to shop here, and yet, at a time like this, there’s a peculiar camaraderie felt at an in-your-face sexy lingerie store.

Lucia

272 5th Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11215

Like I said, the desire to shop comes along rarely for me. But then I went to Lucia. And now I am like all the other girls with a “favorite boutique.” At least it’s an independent designer? I love this place and may just buy that $85 dress once and for all.

What Next?

You’ve listened to your mix tape approximately 86 times (um yeah, I have), his dresser and guitar are gone, and there’s only a small pile of odds and end that he forgot. But you know he’ll be around soon because heck, you’re still friends. Best friends. You DO have to move on, however! What should you do?

Have a dinner party or invite a few of the girls over for knitting, wine, a movie, whatever! Even I like “girl talk”, that is, riveting female conversation (I love the game too!)
Call/Email/IM/Message all those boys you ever had crushes on, or even dated in the past…it’s quite fun.
Since you’ve been doing a lot of “taking inventory” lately, what other changes do you want to make in your life? Now is the time to start anew and look ahead.