I HEART MOM

Marge uses email

Marge has never ventured far into the world of computers.

Mostly Marge likes to forward me emails about how to avoid deadly computer viruses that are going around the Interwebz.

Marge is a Team Player

Sometimes we volunteer Marge to sit through crappy timeshare sales pitches in Hawaii to get us free helicopter rides for the family!

Marge is nice to the elderly

Before my Nana died, Marge took care of her and visited her like every day even though the rest of us thought Nana was crazy (which she was).

Marge is on the Facebook

She’s hip. She’s cool. ducka ducka ducka

Marge doesn't get mad when my sister buys crap like this!

Marge NEVER sticks to the original recipe

If a recipe calls for an ingredient and Marge doesn’t have it, Marge is known to improvise.

One time when I was a kid she made spaghetti squash with Marinara and tried to pass it off as spaghetti.

Seriously, Mom????

Marge Breaks for Unicorns

I’m Not actually sure about this one, but I do know Marge once read the entire Harry Potter series in like 6 days. Marge is a voracious reader and always comes up with good words when we play Scrabble.

Marge wears her hat sideways like a gangsta

Sometimes Marge puts her hat on sideways and thinks she is this guy

Marge cares about my safety

I get lots of warnings from Marge. Last month, Marge’s warnings were mostly about kidnappings in Mexico and the Swine Flu.

This month, she seems to be on a kick about wearing a bike helmet and also how to prevent plantar fasciitis (yes, the two are entirely unrelated)

Marge makes a mean Mac and Cheese

It’s the same Kraft Mac and Cheese that I make out of the box, but it just tastes better when mom makes it. Sometimes she tries to mix it with tuna fish. That’s where I draw the line.

One of my sister’s As Seen on TV experiments gone horribly wrong.

Marge hits up the clubs with us.

w00t! w00t! Marge is cool.

Marge Listens to Punk Rock Albums

I bought one of my first punk rock albums when I was 12 years old. Marge and I listened to it on the way home in the car. Hmmm…listening to the song “Too Drunk to Fuck” with your mom = kinda awkward.

But Marge was cool and let me keep the album, even though she thought the lyrics were of “questionable value”.

Marge Kicks it Old School

On thing that is funny about my mom is that she is stubborn. She’s had the same car since I was a kid. No matter how many times you tell her to get a new car, the answer is always “why would I get a new car when this one works perfectly fine.” Seriously, Marge’s car is old enough to vote, and in some Canadian provinces it would be old enough to drink.

Marge is Awesome

Happy Mother’s Day

Love,

Ethan