Men: Will you ever care?

There is only ONE rule!

RULE ONE:

Do not react, even when Happy.

Let me repeat for effectiveness:
Do not react, even when Happy.

Lets look at it this way:
If “insert name of significant other here” is not reacting, then everyone is happy.

And one more time for those of you who just still can’t get it:
If “the person I love” is ambivalent, then everyone is happy.

Explaination of the Rule:

If your woman is happy, you won’t care.

Can it be any simpler?

You
see, as you may or may not know, women are wired a bit differently than
men. Men, just don’t care, they never get mad, angry, upset, grumpy, pissy, bad mood,
whatever…. After all, you are a
man, it is possible for you to actually be thinking of nothing. Now women on the other hand, might get just as mad, angry, upset,
grumpy, pissy, bad mood, whatever….but the difference is that they won’t
get over it, we won’t forget…we may forgive, but dare piss us off
again, and it’s amazing how that long forgotten thing will jump right
up and slap you in the face.

I kid you not!

Now
some men and some women may disagree about how our species is wired,
but then men just don’t care. You’ve been warned. For those who are still
interested in this theory, well why not give it a try? After all, you never get dinner or sex more than once a month anyway.

Guidelines for the clueless

Ok, ok, ok, so you’re still having a little trouble understanding
exactly how you can not care about the rule; no problem.

Here
are ten simple guidelines that will help to keep you from being in a situation where you have to have a reaction:

1. Never look at her, make eye contact, and generally stare at the wall. (you’ll
   regret it as that look will incite conversation)




2. When
   she catches you not caring, continue walking and make no reaction. (making her repeat herself and follow you ignites the flames)



3. Always get caught checking out other women. (then she knows you can react to something besides her)



4. Buy yourself gifts frequently. Motorcycles, power tools, fishing equipment, etc. (because you don’t care if she is happy)



5. Don’t do any chores, especially the ones she hates. (you’ll earn big points here)



6. Point out to her when she is not doing any work. (she always has to be doing or thinking of something.  When she is not, nothing drives her into a rage like an ambivalent man pointing out she is the lazy one)
7. Always tell her how she used to be “hot”, so she can validate the voices in her head. (you don’t care if you look bad)
8. Every woman enjoys a little
   romance, so try avoiding candles, soft music, full body massages, dancing,
   basically anything she likes. (If you do, she can whine to her
   girlfriends and if you do you’re going to get in trouble with your buddies)
9. Take
   time to watch tv or go to the bathroom, anything she is not interested in. (otherwise she will bore you for hours about how her day went)
10. Because you are never wrong about anything, let her know she is! She is guaranteed to be wrong but thinks she
    is right

Why and How this rule works:

The Why:

Very simply,
because when the man doesn’t care, well guess what? He does not get in trouble! If he is miserable, he reacted to something! She will not, I REPEAT will not
be pleasurable if she is communicated with in any way. That alone right there
should be enough for you to follow the simple rule. You see, when the
woman is talking, she is not at peace and harmony with her world, she is off-kilter and
not you at all, but everyone around her will blame you for her outbursts. If you are in her vicinity, you’ll get creamed.
Thus, by adhering to rule number one (the only rule you need), your
life can and will be heaven! That is WHY the rule will work for you. You keep out of any situation and your life will be great.

The How:

So how does this rule work you ask? Simply….you just don’t react to anything or care about anything. In fact, she would never give you that extra dinner or sex you’ve
been wanting. It’s amazing how loving and admiring a man can be when he is happy. Don’t forget though…there is always ammunition that she has been holding back (unbeknownst to the man who cares) clear your mind of any reaction and put it where it will stay safely tucked away. All hell will break loose and all that crap you
thought was dead and buried will continue flying out of her mouth the first time you break the rule. This is HOW the rule works.

Guidlines for the clueless cont...

Here are ten more guidelines just in case the first ten weren’t enough:

1. Don’t do anything her way and you’ll have no problems. (keep pulling a no-brainer)
2. Always forget ever that she never does it the right way always and no matter how she tries to convince you that she is right, you will never care, so why waste your breath. (again…read rule #1)
3. If
   you break the rule and get pissed off at her, you have lost control,
   realize that she is to blame, you are never responsibile for your lack of
   consciousness, you will never gain her forgiveness. Kiss another woman and tell yours about it when she is sedated.
4. Never care how she looks,
   always look at other women, tell her how other women are smokin’ hot, and how you are
   so lucky to be looking. 
   
5. Sit down and be a man. Have a hot chic come over and fix that crap around the house that she has only asked
   you a hundred times to take care of. (if you’re too late and she had to
   do it herself, then you have succeeded in being the slacker, lazy ass and good for nothing you have always dreamed of)
6. Bribe the kids, the pets, and the neighbors to like you better. That way, when she goes to them to complain, they will take your side.
   
7. Make sure she will die alone and/or have no personal time every day. Just like you, she has
   interests of her own and you should crush
   those interests. (or she may simply not want to be around you, in which
   case you have, again, succeeded – you probably broke THE RULE and only bad can come of keeping her company when she wants it).
8. In
   times of breakdown (hers not yours), scold her, take off, or make it all about you. (It is never about her and you
   will only make it worse by sticking around)
9. If she doesn’t like what you are
   wearing out in public, other women will! (you seriously don’t want to be caught with a
   dork do you?…after all you have to be seen with her)
10. Last:
    When out in public together, stay as far away from her as possible, show no affection. (this keeps others interested in you and keeps
    other women around…remember SHE IS NOT HOT!)