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Matt Fried Wastes Time (Instead Of Doing Work That Pays The Bills)
- by matt_fried
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- December 15, 2008
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Matt Fried likes to procrastinate. Sometimes, it's the unfortunate truth. He doesn't want to deprive the internet of his thoughts and ideas, it just happens once in a while. Mostly because New Yorkers have a tendency to get very, very busy - even when "being busy" tends to mean "going to his therapist three times a week." Nevertheless, as a professional writer, he has those days where everything feels like it's inevitably bearing down on him. Where life feels like it will either end in death or another successfully written guide for Guidespot. Let's take a look into his world, shall we?
He Watches The Same Youtube Videos... Over and Over Again
I can’t help it, this song is actually very catchy. Plus that cat is cute. Is it just me, or does it look like Coffee Slut’s feline?
Matt Fried: Slacker, or Just Talentless?
Procrastination happens to the best of us. And then, people also have a tendency to get a little busy. So much so, that you slowly realize that the only conversations you’ve had of late have been the ones inside of your head. Anyway, I go through this weird process where I wake up every morning, I drink a cup of coffee, I go to the gym, I come home, I take a couple of phone calls, and then I stare at my computer for a good long five to six hours and I wonder. I wonder if I’ll be able to write something again for Guidespot. I wonder what happened to all of those awesome ideas I had that have seemed to vanish overnight (probably because I didn’t write them down). I wonder about how much of a disappointment I am to my parents, to Alex, to the needy fifteen year old inside of STILL WANTING THE CUTE PUNK ROCK GIRL IN HIS MIDDLE SCHOOL TO JUST LOOK AT HIM! …Then I usually do come up with a half-decent idea. I realize that this has all been something of a modest mood swing.
A Few Places Matt Loves To Waste His Time...
People's Improv Theater
154 W 29th St, New York, NY 10001
You can catch him making the Ha-Ha there quite often. Or, he’s usually just hanging out and annoying the staff.
You can catch him making the Ha-Ha there quite often. Or, he’s usually just hanging out and annoying the staff.
The Great Lakes Bar & Restaurant
284 5th Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11215
Every brilliant writer needs a watering hole. It worked for Dylan Thomas. Matt’s is his favorite bar in all of Brooklyn, which just happens to be around the corner from his apartment. “A good man knows his drinking fellows.” Matt always says. That would probably explain why he’s hanging out there two hours before the bar opens.
Every brilliant writer needs a watering hole. It worked for Dylan Thomas. Matt’s is his favorite bar in all of Brooklyn, which just happens to be around the corner from his apartment. “A good man knows his drinking fellows.” Matt always says. That would probably explain why he’s hanging out there two hours before the bar opens.
Gorilla Coffee Inc
97 5th Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11217
Coffeehouses seem to be the place where all kinds of genius happen. Also, they’re the places where one can stare at a female barista for an almost inappropriate amount of time and think “She’s just like that girl in that Dashboard song.” That isn’t to say that work can’t get done at Gorilla; it’s just not likely to happen.
Coffeehouses seem to be the place where all kinds of genius happen. Also, they’re the places where one can stare at a female barista for an almost inappropriate amount of time and think “She’s just like that girl in that Dashboard song.” That isn’t to say that work can’t get done at Gorilla; it’s just not likely to happen.
Galaxy Comics Inc
6823 5th Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11220
I love comic books. They are without question some of the best stuff ever created by man. I also have these weird panic attacks where I feel as if I need to know everything that’s happening in them at once. Ironically, I get these attacks on the same day when I planned a whole load of work.
I love comic books. They are without question some of the best stuff ever created by man. I also have these weird panic attacks where I feel as if I need to know everything that’s happening in them at once. Ironically, I get these attacks on the same day when I planned a whole load of work.
Bonnies Grill Ltd
278 5th Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11215
Their buffalo wings are amazing. Especially when there’s 30 just sitting around in the kitchen, waiting to get eaten by somebody.
Their buffalo wings are amazing. Especially when there’s 30 just sitting around in the kitchen, waiting to get eaten by somebody.
He's Working On His Future Oscar-Winning Screenplay
It’s the real all-American story. It’s a movie that everyone will understand and love. It’s about this guy. And, his name is… Natt… Reid. Anyway, he’s really funny and cool stuff happens to him. Stuff like dinosaurs and girls think he’s awesome. Oh, yeah, and there’s this great scene at the end where everyone who ever doubted him pay him a $1,000,000 and say “Natt Reid, I was wrong.” Then Anne Hathaway shows up and makes out with him.
How To Write A Story
Not everybody has my God given talent. Some people have to go to website to learn to do what I do.
He's On The Road From The Authorities for A Crime of Passion
Some men only know their true character when pushed to the extreme limits of a situation. While I’m not saying that I plan to murder anybody, I’m not saying it couldn’t happen. We all have bad days. Anyway, I’m not going to go out quickly. Oh no, no, no. Anybody looking to slap the cuffs of Matt Fried is going to have to do it after a series of several daring escapes and a showdown at The Statue of Liberty.
Check The Links
You Could Build A House
That’s a good time waster.
Help me, @ubree
A surefire guide for signs of a Facebook addiction.
At least I'm not a hot mess
That’s one thing Matt Fried is not…
He Spends An Almost Obscene Amount Of Time On Facebook
Look, it’s an addiction, I tell you, AN ADDICTION! I am trying to get work done. Work that I know will save all of humanity… but then one of my friends gets tagged in a new photo album of a party I wasn’t invited to, and I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE!!!! That, and I enjoy annoying @ubree.
He Reads Free Books He Picked Up Off Of The Street
There’s this really cool practice in Brooklyn where people – instead of going to a thrift shop or used book store – will stuff that don’t need anymore on the street for anyone to pick up. Hence the numerous additions to my book and music collection. So what if this humor book is so outdated that most bookstores sell it for under $5; there are finds to be had people! Therefore, the streets must be trolled!
Six Steps To Fight Procrastination
Organized Audrey helps me put my laziness into perspective.
Matt Fried's Day Off
He Sleeps In
I like to pretend that I actually will be out of bed by 7:00 a.m. every morning, however if I’m up by 8:45, that’s usually a good day. It’s not my fault that my bed is super comfy and big enough for two people. That’s just the way it is: there’s a lot of room and I’m genetically disposed to make the most of any sleeping situation.
There's Blogging To Be Done
The internet needs me and my thoughts on the holiday GAP ads popping up all over the city. Or, maybe a poem about why toast is amazing. Either way, I’ll usually stare at my blog and try to think of something amazing to say.
Overcoming Laziness
A few easy tips to fight through laziness and writer’s block to make success happen.
He Is In The Middle of Working on Alex's Christmas Present
It’s a naked statue of me, and it’s going to be 13 feet tall. I built it out of limestone and I figured Alex can put it on her front lawn. Or, perhaps, in her living room. The sky’s the limit.
Which Is The Most Universal Human Characteristic?
Waking Life, in case you’ve never seen it, is a beautiful animated film (shot with real actors) that explores the many questions of the human condition. In this case, it ponders what exactly Matt Fried’s problem is…
He Decides To Start A Cult On Long Island
Religion sells. It’s always been something that someone is looking for – plus, no taxes! So, it’s real simple: I start a simplified belief system that’s a cross between Buddhism, the good parts of Christianity, and the plot for Gears of War 2. Sprinkle in some fire and brimstone speeches. Add a little something about the end of days and how our souls are all going to get baked into a giant pizza and KA-CHING! Hey, I went to college; that degree should be put to use at some point.
He May Be Out of Ideas For That Week...
…nah, this is Matt Fried I’m talking about it.
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Guess what? I’ve lived in the area for FOUR years and have yet to go to Great Lakes. I really should before I move to Tribeca in two weeks…hmm.
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