Low Rent Dating In New York

By mattfriedinNY
updated 3 months ago

This past week, Julia Allison in Time Out: New York asked the question: "Whatever happened to the cheap date?" Apparently with Ms. Allison, there's a lot of charm in the simple pleasures of life, to which I say "You around this weekend?" Joking aside though, I never knew it was okay to run with the cheap date. I figured always go with the "moderately priced" date, or the "charmingly inexcessive" date - but never the "cheap date." However, if New York has taught me anything, it's that you learn nothing until you're eighty. That said: gentlemen - the New York cheap date.

The Cheap Date, gamble or enigma? Personally, I understand Allison’s argument: why do guys throw so much money into a good first impression? Mostly because, in New York, first impressions are everything. However, you don’t need to be John Mayer with some “clever” adult contemporary sensibility to pull off a successful cheap date. It’s really a matter of thinking outside the box. In my previous “dating” guides, I’ve always advocated instinct and honesty; here, that would need to be a bit more upfront. The Cheap Date also asks that you side-step New York dating politics in exchange for (gasp) just being down-to-earth. It could work. It’s not my fault that owning an iPhone makes you feel better about yourself, kid.

Bronx Zoo

444 E 148th Street, Bronx, NY 10455

Women love animals… supposedly. If you can convince her to hop the 6 train into SoBro (did I really just type that?), then the Bronx Zoo on a Wednesday is your spot. Wednesdays are “Pay-What-You-Wish” admissions. Though their are suggested donations, you can theoretically get away with paying nothing. I hear Tiger Mountain is quite the romantic spot… supposedly.

Mamoun's Falafel

119 MacDougal Street New York, NY 10012

$2.50 gets you the most sought-after falafel sandwich in the West Village. If she’s vegan, then you’ve hit the jackpot, buddy. Grab a pair of sandwiches to go and cut over past 7th Avenue South. Enjoy your reapings while walking through the Village’s quieter, more residential blocks.

Dumpling House Inc

118 Eldridge, New York, NY 10002

Cheap menus items abound at The Dumpling House. Four dumplings for one dollar means that you two could have a veritable feast at very little scratch.

Do dress the part - You should always be fashion-conscience a little bit in New York. Here’s the thing: The Cheap Date is going to necessitate you look good, but not overdo it – in either direction. Don’t show up after a lot of prep, because she may think you are, in fact, cheap. Equally, baseball caps do not make the man.

Don’t feel a need to apologize – If she’s not into it, then obviously she doesn’t get it. The whole point of The Cheap Date is to switch things up and have a good time doing so. If she honestly wants more – and can’t see the genuine effort you’re making – just be cool about it and find an easy out. Believe me: if she can’t get into splitting a basket of Fried Oreos, she wasn’t worth it in the first place.

Dove

228 Thompson Street, New York, NY 10012

This parlour definitely seems like the spot for a post-work drink. The happy hour specials include wine and cocktails available at $6.00 until 8 p.m. on weekdays.

Leisure Time Bowling Center Pro Shop

625 8th Ave, New York, NY 10018

The walk-in price at Leisure Time is $6.25 per person. In terms of the euphemism “cheap date,” that may push it, but being able to show off your Big Lebowski skills at under $15 still sounds like a bargain to me. Please, though, refrain from singing along to whatever is playing on the stereo – the techno remix of “More Than A Feeling” is barely tolerable as is.

1. Be upfront – This doesn’t mean tell her your life story, but be casual. If you think the date is going to be stupid, then so will she. It’s a domino effect.

2. Be creative - Use your frugality as an opportunity to let her see an aspect of your personality. In other words, no movie-hopping, no cab date, and definitely no staring into chic restaurants, talking about how pretentious paying money for food can be.

3. Warm weather is your friend – Do you know how much cheap/free stuff happens in Manhattan, nightly, from June ‘til September? If not, it’s time that you and Google started hanging out.

4. Handle the expenses - This should be a given, but I’m going to say it anyway: if you’re doing The Cheap Date, you better plan to cover everything. If you’re thinking otherwise, enjoy seeing her while you can.

5. When in doubt, bring a puppy - ‘Nuff said.

Living Room

154 Ludlow Street, New York, NY 10002

If you really want to impress her with your indie cred, you could feasibly make it happen at The Living Room. The L.E.S. staple has always been two things: a downtown hub for aspiring musicians and cheap. A suggested five dollar donation towards the performers can go either way and after midnight, PBR drops to $2 – Sunday to Thursday. Knowing The Pogues from Guided By Voices? That’s your job, Speed Racer.

Sullivan Street Diner

169 Sullivan Street New York, NY 10012

The Sullivan Street Diner may seem a little steep (by non-Manhattan standards), but not when you’re splitting. Try the Dutch pancakes or the waffles. The brunch here is supposed to really be worth it. But who goes on a brunch date when selling a screenplay isn’t involved?

Crumbs

321 Amsterdam Avenue, New York, NY 10023

Allison name-drops this homegrown franchise and I have no shame seconding. The Artie Lange cupcakes here are awesome. Yes, we’re talking about the same Artie Lange on Howard Stern.