Los Angeles Driving Tips: If Everyone Else is Honking...
By GillianS
updated 3 months ago
I think that L.A. drivers get a bad rap. Sure, some of them (us?) are totally crazy and dangerous, but I really think that's just because there are so many of us, you know? Like, statistics or probability or something? I don't know, I suck at math.
Anyway. Driving in Los Angeles can be intimidating. But these tips will have you merging and making left turns at red lights without completely pissing me off in no time.
If Everyone Is Honking and You're Not...
...THEY’RE HONKING AT YOU.
I’m sure that you’re so close to be caller number 103 that you can almost taste it. Or that you really didn’t think you were going to get dumped this time and life is a blur. Or that your kids are totally annoying.
Whatever it is, you have to forget about it long enough to notice the green light. It’s GREEN. GREEN MEANS GO!!
This man is evading the cops with his car in reverse. Yes, that is completely awesome. No, it is not a great idea.
The Maximum Exposure voiceover is what really makes the video, though.
65 MPH is Not Ideal for Washing Your Windshield
Seriously, I don’t know why people do this. You couldn’t tell your windshield was dirty before you got on the 134, guy? And I am inevitably behind this person which means that I get this whole spray of that weird fluid on my windshield (which is inevitably dirty, but maybe I like it that way) and in my sunroof and – what’s so much worse – possibly in my hair! So, just do this when you’re stopped, please.
My Least Favorite Interchange
123 S. Figueroa St. Los Angeles, CA 90012
This is (close to) where the Hollywood Freeway and the Harbor Freeway meet. To get from the 101 South to the 110 South, you have to merge across no fewer than three lanes of traffic in no more than 200 yards. It’s seriously annoying.
On second thought, maybe you should just hire someone to do the driving for you.
On second thought, maybe you should just hire someone to do the driving for you.
Would You Like Me to Show You How to Work a Turn Signal?
Because if you use one even 1% of the time you’re legally supposed to, it will put you wayyy ahead of the L.A. curve. I know that I should already know where you’re going…since I’m sure you’re somebody, but just humor me. Please.
Eating in the Car Doubles Your Calories
This may or may not be true, but when you’re trying to put a Splenda in your latte and pick the blueberries out of your low-fat muffin at the same time you’re driving, it definitely doubles the chance of me being pissed off.
I’m amazed that more cars don’t fly off of cliffs in real life because Toonces is probably a better driver than a lot of people in L.A.
Your Windows are (most likely) Transparent
I am extremely guilty of forgetting this one and I’m sure far more people than I’m comfortable with have seen me dance, sing, scream, cry and give the finger. So, just try to keep in mind that – even though they may seem too self-absorbed to care – people can and do see you and relate tales of the ridiculous things they see to their friends..
Just Because You Can, Doesn't Mean You Ought to...
...this applies not only to talking on the phone (bluetooth or no bluetooth!) but even more so to TEXT MESSAGING. I know, it probably doesn’t take a ton of brain power or attention to type “how r u wat is up 4 2nit?” but seriously.
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