Apparently despite his ass-clownish antics on TV, this buffoon has some small measure of skill in his chosen profession. Watching him energetically liposuction a client’s stomach literally made me die a little inside, but after seeing the results on these women, I just might say it’s worth it.

Just look at Paris Hilton: Money and looks doesn’t mean anything unless people know that you have both in spades. Kick off your budding career with this appropriately named agency.

In the heart of Inglewood (always up to no good) be sure to lock it up after dark. Would suggest that the lesser the melanin content in your body the earlier you get out of this neighborhood. wink wink

Very few automobiles inspire as much egregious envy as the Ferrari line of sports cars. Notoriously unpredictable, flagrantly overpriced and gaudy in the extreme, nevertheless the panty-dropping powers of this line of vehicles knows no bounds.

I might be taking this Envy theme a little too far.

I like how Kirk Krikorian, worth 9.4 billion dollars (much less I’m sure after GM’s recent terrible run) drives inexpensive cars like Ford Tauruses and Jeeps but drops $20,000 for each suit painstakingly made at Brioni Clothiers. My sartorial dream is to one day own one bespoke suit from this designer… pfft, even a pocket square is way out of my pay scale.

The creme de la creme of high end luxury, this company’s accessories and clothing are the wet dreams of fashionistas the world over.

Sunday nights at Club Sevilla is entitled Envy… I noticed that this place was extremely gay friendly as evidenced by the sea of shirtless men, all dancing wildly with their thumbs in their belt loops.