To loose a friend and continue on living.

After a friend dies, how do you carry on? How do you preserve your memory of them and to what point?

    Loosing a friend at a young age is like beaing mugged in an alley. You never see it comming, it’s not something youve trained for, and it leaves you feeling battered and beaten. But the important thing to know is that there is hope. Hope for your future, and hope for your mangled heart
    Earlier this year I lost a very good friend. It was not due to sickness or disease, It was an accident while riding his bike. However it was just that, an accident. Leaving no one to blame, no one to point fingers at, and very little room for any kind of closure. Soon enough you start to blame yourself; “I should have been there”, “I should have done something”, “I should have been a better friend and made sure that he wore his helmet.” Some of the worst things in life are the ones that you cannot change, otherwise known as regrets. 
    Regret is something that prevents you from moving forward, prevents you from accepting what is and not what could have been. The last thing that your loved one would want you to do is wallow in the fact that you will never see their face again. We know this because if you were in their shoes you would hate to see your friends hung up about you.
    So what do you do? What actions do you take? Unfortunately there is no simple answer, and I cannot presume to tell you that one would better than another, but I can tell you what helped me get through these challenges. You must acknowledge that nobody was ever meant to bear such a burden sigle-handedly, and that you have people who can help you though your tough times. My friend and I were fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who cared and supported us more than we could ever ask for. Immediately after my friend passed away, we joined together like a secret clan of support. We each expressed our feelings on the matter, we each had several shoulders to cry on, we had people bring food, we had people who helped clean up our deoparted friend’s apartment, we shared our favorite stories, and we also talked about ways to best memorialize his life. 
    This did not make his funeral any easier. It was a terribly sad day for all the 200+ people that attended. We each burried something with him that created a significant bond between them and our friend. Most importantly we extended our massive support to our friends family as well. We told his parents about what the impact that he had on our lives, we shared our favorite stories of him, and they could see in our welled up eyes that we did so with sincerity. 
    So after you say goodbye how do you continue on? It’s not easy and you must take it one day at a time. You continueously tell yourself that they are now in a better place; free from suffering, and free from anything that you yourself would dread encountering. You remember the good times that you had, that they were not meaningless. You continue living your life while taking the best parts of them with you, utilizing them to make your life better, such in a way that your friend will live on through you.
    The most Important thing that I took from this experience, is the comfort that my friend knew that I loved him, and I knew that he loved me back just as much. There was no question that my friend was a good person and that he left a huge impact on this world that will echo throughout eternity. 

    I love you Tyler Faybeck, and I take you with me everywhere I go!

-Russel Beebe