Looking for a Job as a Writer? Don't Make These Mistakes

by striquer
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November 10, 2008
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A collection of writing gaffes from earnest job-seekers. Don't make these mistakes when applying for a job as a writer.

An 11 Paragraph Cover Letter?!

Am I really going to read a cover letter that is 11 paragraphs long with a P.S. at the end? Here’s the P.S.: “Using satire to differentiate myself from other applicants is taking a chance I won’t be taken seriously. However, if I’ve kept your interest, it might be a good indicator I could do the same generating leads and cementing customer relations”
No. Geez man, help a guy out. I want witty. I want you to get to the point. I want you to provide an online sample of your work. I did not ask for satire and you’re right, I did not take you seriously. I didn’t ask for a resume and you sent one anyway. I’m not opening attachments. The link you provided takes too much effort to get to your writing. When I finally found your work, it was just as long-winded and wordy as your cover letter.
Thanks for applying, this is not a fit.

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Writer....not Finance

I’m looking for a writer. I made that really clear.
Then I got this: Hi, my name is BOB, I majored in Finance at A University, I am currently looking for an entry level finance position. Please feel free to contact me at (555) 555-1212 to schedule an interview.

Did this guy just send me a cover letter and resume for a finance position?

Just to see what a finance guy applying for a writing position writes in his cover letter I read his cover letter. This is a good one:
“I’m currently employed at ABC Financial Institution. My experience at ABC has been challenging, and ultimately has enabled me to grow as a person. Having dealt with large sums of money empowered me to further strengthen both my analytical and detail orientation skills. Learning from my mistakes made more precise.”

Now I’m hooked. This is like watching the train coming down the tracks with cars parked on the track. My first question is, “what did this guy do at the Financial Institution where he could handle large sums of money and make mistakes?”

So I break my resume rule and open his resume. Oh great! He’s a teller supervisor. What kind of mistakes did he learn from? I don’t want to know. I’m glad I don’t bank there.

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Please Edit Before You Send

I’m looking for a writer. I’m not a perfect writer. I’ll re-read my work after I post and realize that I’ve made some grammatical errors or spelling mistakes. Hey, no one is perfect. But if you’re applying for a job as a WRITER and you point out your editing skills, make sure your work is error-free.
Here are a few examples:

“… the changes taking place and the good, bad, ugly and good.”
Um, does the second good cancel out the first or are the changes good x 2? I’m afraid this isn’t good. It’s bad.

“… was an alias I adopted when wrote for and edited several websites for XXX”
I think you have an “I” problem here. I see the space for it after the ‘when’ but then it doesn’t show up. Where did it go? Bummer. And this sentence referenced editing.

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What Can You Do For ME?

This final applicant pushed me over the edge.
I’m looking for a writer. It’s all about me. I know that’s selfish and it usually isn’t all about me, but this time it is. I want an applicant that tells me what they can do for me.
This last applicant has it backward:

“I have a small business of my own and seem to have lots of time on my hands.” (um, you need to work harder in your small business so you’re busy).

“I’m looking for something that is location-flexible as I may be relocating…” (I’m looking for a writer in a specific location that is hip to the goings-on in that city)

“My goal is to live in city A and in city B next year.” (That’s great, but I need a writer in city A all the time, not just part-time. I don’t really care about your goals. I know that’s harsh but I’m looking for a writer)

“While I’m there I will be working diligently on work I line up before I actually leave city A.” (Got it, you’re moving. I want a writer in city A and you’re moving to another city. You could ghost-write the city, but you wouldn’t be as relevant especially when your favorite restaurant closes shortly after you leave, but you don’t know because you’re not there; then you write about it and I get emails saying… what’s up with that? That restaurant sounded great and it closed 6 months ago?!)

Thanks for applying. Good luck with the move.

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