The Loner's Guide To Living Alone in Los Angeles, All By Yourself (Part I)

Jon's is better than...

Even though the corner liquor store is only a block from where I live (7th and Normandie) , and open later (don’t forget this nugget), I have found that the 3 block walk to Jon’s (A local discount Super-Mercado that specializes in expired goods) exposed me to 3 times more of the neighborhood and 2x’s the savings. 

On Wednesdays and Thursdays you can get Pupusas for 99 cents (they are normally $1.99) on the Corner of 8th and Irolo. The 2 blocks leading up to the store is like a “Culinary Thunder-Dome” where you can find street vendors (health-code pending) selling tamales,  tacos and an assortment of “bebidas” to wash down the savory regret.

Once inside Jon’s, you can find the 24oz and 40oz section to the left – just keep turning left and you will see it.  I prefer the Icehouse 24oz cans at $1.19/can.  You get the most bang for your buck here with a 5.9% alc. by volume.  4 – 24-0z cans will cost you a little over 5 bucks, tax included.  And when you wake up in the morning, do what I do – tell yourself it’s allergies – it makes it way easier to repeat your self-destructive behavior that way.

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Comedy and Poop. . .

Two of my most favorite things:  Comedy and Poop.  Poop is totally worth capitalizing, even when it’s not at the beginning of a sentence.

Poop jokes are universal and cross cultural.  Everyone gets grossed out and giggly when thinking about Poop.  Seeing and smelling it usually makes us identify with the “gross”, where as thinking about it liberates us form our sensory judgments, and allows us to take “Poop” to a more philosophical level.  Example(s):  “Life is what happens when you’re sitting on the toilet.” or “Life is the space between Poops.”  Either way – Pooping is usually a guaranteed alone time for most, save a baseball game or public restroom Poop-trip.  Some fear Pooping in public – these are the same people who refer to it as “defecating” (that makes it sound creepy).

 Poop is my favorite palindrome because not only is the ‘word’ a palindrome, but ‘poop’ itself is a physical palindrome – it is the same forwards and backwards  Poop is fun. Poop is a barometer of health – it lets us know if we are eating right, too much or not enough – through sight, smell and frequency – we are all incidental poop detectives in this way – it is our birth-right.

One last thought:  How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

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