Live for the spotlight? How to stand out in New York City

GET AN OFFBEAT JOB

When someone asks you “what you do” in New York, they’re automatically going to assume your job title is not just work, but instead that it defines who you are. Your business card is your “about me.” Your 9 to 5 contributes entirely to your personality, and if what you do sometimes becomes more important than anything beyond that.

So what if you decided to get a job that didn’t define you and left people guessing about the kind of person you are?

If anything giving someone a business card that reads, “Sex Therapist” will always strike up conversation and break the ice.

TATTOOS

…..in strange places. LIKE. Your face.

I know Tattoos are nothing new, or out of the ordinary these days but a tatted FACE, still turns heads.

Alcohol usually works:

• Drink too much and give a speech.
• Dance on a table
• Pass out in the middle of the dance floor
• Accidentally flash your boob/or whatever area that usually remains “private”
• Reenact your high school dance team’s, “winning” dance number for all of your colleagues.

ACT HOMELESS

Don’t actually BECOME homeless, just pull a Mary-Kate Olsen and “act as if” you’ve taken tips from resident hobos.
IMPERATIVE HOMELESS TIPS:

• At least one item of clothing with a hole in it.
• Matted hair
• Some form of coffee cup
• Find a  good street corner or stoop.
• Lose some weight

Tweak your identity

Here’s what I mean:

• Try out a seriously OBNOXIOUS accent
• Plastic surgery. Extra large breasts usually work for attention seekers.
• Chop off your hair
• Hang out with a “different crowd”
• Become a VEGAN.
• Join a cult or become “born again.”
• Become a Republican. A loud one.