The Life Lessons Of Star Wars
by Matt Fried
1 contributors - September 17, 2008
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A long time ago, in a era far, far removed from anything we recognize today, George Lucas gave the world Star Wars. Thirty-odd years later, we still love it; so much so, that we forgive his recent habits of beating a dead horse. Star Wars means something to all of us. For me, it was the father I never had. Everything thing I learned in life, I learned from Star Wars.
Incest is never cool
Not even with that famous “But I didn’t know we were twins separated at birth” excuse, it’s still gross. And wrong. This same rule can apply for second cousins, third cousins, and step siblings. Yuck.
Kitschy nostalgia will not make you popular
You love ’80s music? Great; buy the c.d.s and then shut-up. Nobody will ever respect your musical taste if you act as if nothing good ever came after 1989. Just like certain filmmakers believe in making homages to themselves by putting anachronistic nods to other movies they made into their new movies.
Nobody likes a whiner
Wah, my mom died. Wah, my girlfriend doesn’t like me. Wah, I wanna be a Jedi Master, but the Council won’t let me because I’m mentally unbalanced. Get over it. Either play the game and learn to lighten up, or go back to theater school and get an MFA.
Listen to old people
Your grandfather’s advice is just as valid as that drunk dude at the old man bar. Experience brings wisdom. Only a clear and focused mind will know the good from the bad.
Bad Boys are Way Sexy
As a kid I think I liked Luke was cute. As a grown up I wonder what on earth was I thinking? Bad Boys are way sexier.
added by Shawna 09/17/2008
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never trust george lucas. memory raper.
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The first thing I thought of in Return of the Jedi when we found out who Luke’s sister was – OMG they kissed. That’s gross.
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