Find a Boyfriend in Seattle and Get Yourself a Date
by improbable - November 08, 2008
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It's tough being a single girl in Seattle. One by one, all of your friends get partnered off. Eventually you find yourself sitting at home alone on Saturday nights, with no one but your three cats and Sex and the City box set to keep you company. Don't let it happen to you.
The odds are good, but the goods are odd
Are you a single woman in Seattle? First of all, that’s pathetic. But of course, you already knew that, and that’s why you’re here.
There are 30,000 more single men than single women in the Seattle area. (To be fair, most of these are computer programmers, but this guide assumes you have lowered your standards enough that they have become appealing.) Ready to get one?
Go grocery shopping
Well, it doesn’t actually have to be grocery shopping. Given the excess numbers of single men in Seattle, you can’t really do anything without running into some kind of man desperate for female companionship. But start with the grocery store, and work up.
Practice these phrases:
“Excuse me, could you help me with my melons?”
“Hi there, how firm do you like your peaches?”
“Which brand of prophylactic do you prefer?”
Whole Foods Market
2200 Westlake Ave, Seattle, WA 98121
Seattle’s grocery store singles scene hotspot.
Seattle’s grocery store singles scene hotspot.
Pcc Natural Markets--Fremont
716 N 34th St, Seattle, WA 98103
Pick yourself up some all-natural lovin’.
Pick yourself up some all-natural lovin’.
Maybe the fling's the thing
The good news is that you will almost certainly be outnumbered 10 to 1 by men. The bad news is that you won’t want to talk to any of them. The good news that enough alcohol can rectify this situation, and the bad news is of course that you’ll regret this tomorrow.
Amber Restaurant & Lounge
2214 1st Ave, Seattle, WA 98121
Seattle’s meetmarket. Show enough cleavage and see how many free drinks you can score.
Seattle’s meetmarket. Show enough cleavage and see how many free drinks you can score.
Twist
600 Pine St Ste 130, Seattle, WA 98101
When Amber is too much for you, check out its younger, cleaner, slightly-less popular brother.
When Amber is too much for you, check out its younger, cleaner, slightly-less popular brother.
The Seven Worst Places to Break Up in Seattle
Sometimes you’ve just got to wipe the slate clean and start over. Don’t do it on top of the Aurora Bridge, though.
Start drinking
I know what your mama told you when you were little. You’re a princess and you should hold out for your Prince Charming.
Hate to break it to you, baby, but those eggs aren’t staying fresh on the shelf forever. If it’s any consolation, he always thought he’d marry a supermodel, so your dreams are dying together.
Cellar Homebrew the
14320 Greenwood Ave N, Seattle, WA 98133
Be a modern-day hero to him and brew your own.
Be a modern-day hero to him and brew your own.
Multiple award winning wines. Just not any of the ones served in the tasting room. Bleh!
Multiple award winning wines. Just not any of the ones served in the tasting room. Bleh!
Make sure he's not gay
Capitol Hill is the second most densely populated neighborhood in Seattle and the first gayest. I do understand the appeal of a boyfriend who keeps the bathroom clean, knows how to dress himself, and actually listens when you talk. And notices your new haircuts. And grooms himself. And has good taste in music. And is fun to go out with.
Oh hell, go get yourself a gay boyfriend.
Cc Attle's
1501 E Madison St, Seattle, WA 98122
A local “networking” and drinking establishment popular with an older, gayer crowd.
A local “networking” and drinking establishment popular with an older, gayer crowd.
R Place
619 E Pine St, Seattle, WA 98122
Multi-level club for those who want to see and be seen.
Multi-level club for those who want to see and be seen.
Get that bikini body
Maybe you’re missing the bikini. Maybe you’re missing the body. But put the two of them together and you’ll be out of his league before you know it.
24 Hour Fitness
229 Queen Anne Ave N, Seattle, WA 98109
Turn those buns of jello into buns of steel.
Turn those buns of jello into buns of steel.
Bikini Beach
9 Lake St, Kirkland, WA 98033
If you’ve got it, flaunt it. If you don’t, fake it.
If you’ve got it, flaunt it. If you don’t, fake it.
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