Jokes About Men
by donnyc
4 contributors - August 27, 2008
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Okay, ladies. Let's hear some quality jokes about men. And again, the challenge will be to keep them clean.
Genie, grant me a wish...
A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a Genie’s lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she was going to receive the usual three wishes.
The Genie said, “Nope … due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So … what’ll it be?”
The woman didn’t hesitate. She said, “I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other.”
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, “Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m good, but not THAT good! I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish.”
The woman thought for a minute and said, “Well, I’ve never been able to find the right man. You know, one that’s considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is good in bed and gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That’s what I wish for … a good mate.”
The Genie let out a long sigh and said, “Let me see that f**king map!”
<font>Why does a man like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.
How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren’t affectionate out of bed.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
B. Penicillin </font>
added by pdavis 08/28/2008
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They already have boyfriends.
Why men were created
Question: Why did God create man first?
Answer: It was a rough draft.
added by Shawna 08/27/2008
Age-old Riddle...
If a man says something in the woods and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?
added by ethwiny 08/28/2008
<font>Why does a man like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.
How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren’t affectionate out of bed.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
B. Penicillin </font>
added by pdavis 08/28/2008
Whipped wives
Three men were sitting in a bar talking about how whipped they had their wives.
The first two kept bragging about how they could get their wives to do anything.
They looked at the third man and he said, “I have my wife so whipped that the other day I had her crawling towards me on her hands and knees.”
Both of the other men were very impressed and asked him how he had managed that.
The man replied,"Well, I was laying under the bed and she crawled over and said, “Come out and fight like a man!”.
added by pdavis 08/28/2008
If a man speaks in the forest ...
and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
added by Head 08/28/2008
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