Job Interview Faux Pas

Eat or Drink Anything After You Leave the House

Once you’ve brushed your teeth and left the house for your interview, there’s no going back. You might be really nervous and arrive at the interview location 45 minutes early and think to yourself "one more cup of coffee could really give me that extra “POW!” Or…“Hmm…Starbucks has perfected oatmeal? Let me be the judge of that.” If you break the seal of post home freshness you risk a.) a catastrophic spill b.) undesirable breath c.) something getting stuck between your teeth. Just…don’t.

I totally spaced

So here’s what happened.  I wasn’t interviewing for a job, but for a particular 6-month “leadership” program (gag) I was nominated for within my company.  I dialed into the conference call for my phone interview, and thought I had aced it.

About an hour later, I had another, non-related conference call.  I dialed what I thought was the correct number (it had popped up in my reminder window) but ended up dialing back into the previous conference call number…where the guy who interviewed me was now interviewing someone else.  Oops.  And since that little faux pas really didn’t back up my claim about how “well organized” I was, I wasn’t accepted into the program.

Drat!

Honesty Is Not Always The Best Policy

I once had a job interview where I told the interviewer I wanted the job because it would help me get a discounted gym membership.  While this is true, said interview was less than impressed. 

I Talked Shit

I write reviews for boutiques and restaurants for a couple local websites. Sometimes, they’re not so positive. Sometimes, they are really not so positive. And sometimes, I forget who I write about. You’d think that I would remember to never patronize the places that I call out— but NOT TO INTERVIEW for a position there…. “Um, Cameron, aren’t you that writer that said we were, and I quote, ’a garbage dump establishment unfit for the Guantanamo Bay prison guards serving time for torture?”…. A.W.K.W.A.R.D.

I E-mailed the F*** Word

I was interviewing for a job that had nothing to do with writing, but because I had writing on my resume they asked to see some clips. So, being young and retarded, I decided I should send them my recent music review that included “fuck” about 20 times. My girlfriend suggested against it, but I was sure they would see how the use of the word was “ironic” and “funny.” They did not see it that way and did not return my phone calls. To which my response was, “fuck.”

I applied for a teaching job at the JCC

Although it is not required to be Jewish to work at the JCC (Jewish Community Center), having my Aryan race looks and answering the question, “Are you Jewish?” with “No, Catholic” could have possibly contributed to me not getting that job. Or at least I’ll tell myself that. 

I always forget my resume

No really. I’d say, 9 times out of 10 I forget my resume, I forget to even look at my resume at home, I forget a pen and paper, but luckily I have a great memory for my 8 billion past jobs, their dates, their requirements, etc. 

SHOW UP LATE

K, no, really the only time I’ve done this I actually go lost. Googling the address of where you need to go only minutes before the interview is NEVER a good idea….especially when they JUST moved buildings. Luckily, the person interviewing me realized that the internet had made a flub by not changing their address and TECHNICALLY, I wasn’t late when I showed up at their former building. SO, LESSON IS: Make sure you HAVE THE RIGHT ADDRESS…..DOUBLE CHECK IT, AND LEAVE AND HOUR EARLIER THAN PLANNED.

If you get there early its better than being late, bring snack and a newspaper to pass time.

Though, I did get offered the job….showing up late doesn’t make the best first impression.

Get a Crush on Your Interviewer

A couple years ago I interviewed for this nonprofit job and I was totally taken aback when I got there because the interviewer was totally HOT. I couldn’t concentrate and giggled like an idiot during the interview. In fact, I was so out of my element that I started babbling and I even told the interviewer that I have a tendency to start projects and not finish them! Who says that during a job interview?! Anyway, needless to say I did not get the job, but I did learn to be VERY careful about what say during interviews (especially in front of hot men).

"What does our company do?"

Ah – when an interviewer posed the question “Can you provide a brief description of what we do here at Company X?” I realized I’d lined up just enough interviews in just a short enough amount of time that requisite “homework” had been duly neglected. I looked at them, blinked, blinked a little more, swallowed hard and said, “Um, it wasn’t exactly clear from your website. What DO you do?”
And never heard from them again.

I named the wrong job

Should you get extra points for managing to ace the wrong job interview? I think so. I was looking for a new job after spending a year as part of the entertainment staff at a theme restaurant in Midtown. I wanted to get into theater producing and was willing to take any job that offered exposure, including being an office assistant. Anyway, I had submitted my resume to every opportunity I could find and got two responses. One was with a large producers’ office, the other was with a smaller PR firm.

I was barely a year out of school, and I chose to ignore that I was unhappy with my current lot in life. So – when one is in such a position – I’ve found that one will always find a way to subconsciously sabotage any attempt to find success in the field of work he hates. One of the interviews got pushed back, or cancelled, or something like that, and I chose to make a mental note, and not a physical note. So, I show up to one interview (which, to only add to the irony: both of the companies were in the same building, and they both used the same lobby as a waiting area for appointments) ready to blow some minds. I get called into the interview and I knock it out of the park. I’m feeling good about where things are going, until the end. I get asked “So, Matt, what kind of experience are you looking to gain in this position?” I talk about the work this large producers’ office has done and how I wanted to be a part of that tradition. I talk about my previous experience. I talk about how I’m ready to go from being a bottom-feeding actor to a responsible producer. My interviewers take one look at me and say “What are you talking about?”

Since that day, I’ve always carried a planner with me. I’ve found that writing things down is the only way I’ll truly remember something; like when the large producers’ office cancelled my interview and it was the small PR firm that was apparently “very excited to meet me”. What do you do when you’re 24 years old, you’re a college graduate, and you’ve just found out that you almost aced the wrong interview? My take: sweat your way through it, go home, and figure out what hell you’re doing with your life.