I was perusing the classifieds one day. It’s a hobby of mine. And I saw this ad:

“Need a vacation? We do too. Dynamic, exciting household. Short-term. Come for a visit.”

Things weren’t picking up around here, so I thought, why not?

It started out great. We had dinner. I love Il Vicino. They have awesome calzones. And a margarita to wash it down. I prefer a martini, but not bad.

Next, they said, “why don’t you make the next round”. Okay. I’m not an expert, but I do make a mean Moscow Mule. A margarita…requires some study.

“It’s a lovely night for a walk,” they said. I happily agreed. And then somehow, was left walking the dog and the baby myself.

We kicked back for a bit. And then it was time
to put the baby to bed. “GuidSpud,” they said, “he’s taken such a fondness for you. Why don’t you put the baby to bed?” I love kids, so I happily chipped in.

Sleeping in a new place is always a challenge.
But all and all, not a bad night. The next morning, things started to take a turn. “Okay, let’s dig in,” then said. “Let’s take a walk outside.” Cool. I like outside. But one thing led to another, and I found myself…working.

Pulling weeds.

And washing the dishes.

And sweeping the floor.

And washing the glass on the cabinet.

You know, I’m a good egg. But I started to suspect I was being taken advantage of. And the last straw…the last straw was when they asked me to make the potato salad! I had to get out of there.

Then next morning, I had to take matters into my own hands. At first light, I trundled out. I found my way out of their godforsaken suburban neighborhood filled with winding streets, but couldn’t find a good way back home. I kept walking, through some sketchy neighborhoods. On top of that, it was a hot day.

Finally, finally! After airing my thumb for streets and streets, I got a nice lady (in a hybrid, no less!) to take me back home.

I am home, resting now. I am seriously reconsidering my classifieds habit. And hitting up my friends again for a real vacation.