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Isn't it (not actually) ironic?
- by andrea_d
- -
- November 19, 2008
(4)
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It's a fairly well-known missive that "Ironic", a 1990s paeon to moping by Canadian Alanis Morisette, is not actually about "irony" at all. In fact, not a single lyrical snippet in the entire song can be construed as irony. Let's deconstruct this little ditty, shall we?
Irony
i⋅ro⋅ny1 /ˈaɪrəni, ˈaɪər-/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [ahy-ruh-nee, ahy-er-] Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun, plural -nies. 1. the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend.
2. Literature. a. a technique of indicating, as through character or plot development, an intention or attitude opposite to that which is actually or ostensibly stated.
b. (esp. in contemporary writing) a manner of organizing a work so as to give full expression to contradictory or complementary impulses, attitudes, etc., esp. as a means of indicating detachment from a subject, theme, or emotion.
3. Socratic irony.
4. dramatic irony.
5. an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected.
6. the incongruity of this.
7. an objectively sardonic style of speech or writing.
8. an objectively or humorously sardonic utterance, disposition, quality, etc.
Lottery win followed by death
An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
This would actually represent something we might call “really shitty luck”, or if you consider winning the lottery good luck, but dying bad luck, then maybe it cancels out and the guy has no luck at all.
Also, can you consider death “unlucky”? Given that your chances of encountering it sometime during your life is roughly 100%?
It's a black fly, in your chardonnay
This is not “ironic”. Rather, it is a sign of dining outdoors, or possibly bad hygeine on behalf of the restaurant you are dining it. It depends on how long the fly has been there.
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Again, not ironic. Just a sign that your governor is a total asshole. See below.
It's like raaaaaaaain on your wedding day
Actually, not only is rain on your wedding day not ironic, it’s considered good luck. Or bad luck. But it isn’t ironic. And I think the above couple looks adorable. Didn’t anyone see Betsy’s Wedding?
See? Fun!
It's a free ride when you've already paid
No. Paying when something is free is just an example of you being a poor reader.
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would’ve thought … it figures… that you have bad judgment. I guess I figured it out, based on your love life and career choice, but hey. Who would’ve thought besides me and everyone else that you asked advice from?
Plane crash
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
‘Well isn’t this nice…‘
This is what I would call ’unfortunate.’ Ironic, no? Let’s rewrite the song so that it is actually ironic, shall we?
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid of planes
He packed his suitcase and boarded an Amtrak train
He was afraid of flying, and traveled by rail
When the train crashed into another, he thought,
“WHAT GREAT BIG FUCKING FAIL”
“Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything’s okay
and everything’s going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything’s gone wrong and everything blows up in your face”
Well, this is actually true.
It's a traffic jam when you're already late
TIP: Try setting the alarm clock for ten minutes earlier! Or quit your job.
It's a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
But… I mean, just how limited are you in terms of places that you would go to smoke? If I found a No Smoking sign at the location in which I had chosen to light up, I would merely physically relocate to another spot in which no sign was evident.
Or I would blatantly smoke in front of it, muttering, “Oh, yeah. Breakin’ the law. You wanna fight?” so that everyone would know what a badass I was.
The only time a no-smoking sign is ironic is in a tobacco store. And even then, they’re just abiding by state law, probs.
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
This is the only part of the song that comes mildly close to irony, but only if you are trying to commit suicide in the steak knife sections of a cutlery factory, and manage to get locked in the spoon building on accident, and while trying to use a soup spoon to break out, you manage then to slit your wrists with the handle and die right there, on a pile of 10,000 spoons, in a pool of dark red blood.
It's meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife
Not so much “ironic” as “really fucking unfair.”
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Isn’t it ironic that I was totally bored about two minutes ago and then I saw this brilliant guide and then WASN’T totally bored? ;)
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