Why Isn't There IKEA Furniture Named After ME?
The other day I was wondering around IKEA (yes, I am masochistic,) and I was noticing that a lot of the items have people names, and since I'm also egocentric I thought, "How come there's no ELISA furniture?" But I guess I can't really complain, surprisingly there's not a single piece of furniture named BJORN in the IKEA catalog.
ERIK
Drawer unit with 2 drawers on casters
$79.99
I’d be pretty pissed if my name was Erik, I mean come on, a filing cabinet?
GUSTAV
Laptop table
$149.00
I’m sure the famous Gustavs of the world (Mahler, Klimt, Hurricane Gustav) would approve of this laptop table. If they knew what laptops were.
The second-most asked question after, “Where do babies come from?”
INDIRA
Bedspread
$19.99
The only Indira I’ve ever known of is Indira Gandhi, and I’m pretty sure she deserves more than a bedspread.
ANDREA
Rug
$249.00
Andrea was once your best friend in elementary school, and now she’s just a rug you can’t afford.
PATRIK
Visitor chair
$149.00
Patrik looks way cooler than Patrick. No offense to you Patricks out there, but it just seems more Viking-like.
CYRIL
Computer cabinet
$199.00
You don’t meet too many people named Cyril nowadays, but it’s a pretty awesome name. Dibbs!
LENA
Fabric
$8.99/yards
Lena’s probably too pretty of a name for fabric samples, although I think the pomegranate print is rather attractive.
MIKAEL
Computer table with casters
$49.99
I sort of like this as an alternative spelling to Michael, it’s got spunk, or maybe just Sputnik.
This might just be the COOLEST thing ever. (I’m ELLISVA). Feel free to post yours!
IRIS
Oven mitt
$0.99
Poor Iris, a .99 oven mitt?! That’s worse than a filing cabinet.
“Why does everything have weird names? Every container, shelf, cabinet or appliance had some odd name, as if people from Planet Sweden anthropomorphized these objects, naming each one they encountered as best they could.”
BILLY
Bookcase
$89.99
I had a Billy bookcase when I was in college, and even then I thought it was weird that a piece of Swedish furniture would be named Billy.
ALEX
Drawer unit on casters
$119.00
Much like Alexander the Great, this drawer unit is both strong and regal.
HARRY
Chair
$49.99
I wouldn’t really peg this chair as a Harry, Given it’s simplistic lines I’d go for Rem or Mies.
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