Why Isn't There IKEA Furniture Named After ME?

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The other day I was wondering around IKEA (yes, I am masochistic,) and I was noticing that a lot of the items have people names, and since I'm also egocentric I thought, "How come there's no ELISA furniture?" But I guess I can't really complain, surprisingly there's not a single piece of furniture named BJORN in the IKEA catalog.

ERIK

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Drawer unit with 2 drawers on casters
$79.99

I’d be pretty pissed if my name was Erik, I mean come on, a filing cabinet?

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by susie  08/10/2009

HAHA I LOVE the name Erik. Mainly because I know the most amazing person who goes by this name. This does not suit him AT ALL!

GUSTAV

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Laptop table
$149.00

I’m sure the famous Gustavs of the world (Mahler, Klimt, Hurricane Gustav) would approve of this laptop table. If they knew what laptops were.

INDIRA

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Bedspread
$19.99

The only Indira I’ve ever known of is Indira Gandhi, and I’m pretty sure she deserves more than a bedspread.

ANDREA

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Rug
$249.00

Andrea was once your best friend in elementary school, and now she’s just a rug you can’t afford.

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by susie  08/10/2009

Did everyone have a friend named Andrea in elementary school?? Who are all the Andreas friends with now?

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by elisa  08/10/2009

Good question! We’ll have to track down some Andreas to find out!

PATRIK

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Visitor chair
$149.00

Patrik looks way cooler than Patrick. No offense to you Patricks out there, but it just seems more Viking-like.

CYRIL

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Computer cabinet
$199.00

You don’t meet too many people named Cyril nowadays, but it’s a pretty awesome name. Dibbs!

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by alexandraf  08/08/2009

I want a Cyril!

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by sitegotsold  08/08/2009

Wait…What the hell’s a computer cabinet?

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by elisa  08/08/2009

Hahah— I’m sure Cyril would definitely be up to the challenge of holding napkins. Whether or not it would fit on your kitchen table is another story…

LENA

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Fabric
$8.99/yards

Lena’s probably too pretty of a name for fabric samples, although I think the pomegranate print is rather attractive.

 

MIKAEL

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Computer table with casters
$49.99

I sort of like this as an alternative spelling to Michael, it’s got spunk, or maybe just Sputnik.

IRIS

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Oven mitt
$0.99

Poor Iris, a .99 oven mitt?! That’s worse than a filing cabinet.

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by aliciak  08/08/2009

I too think of oven mitts as furniture. :)

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by elisa  08/08/2009

Hahah! I totally didn’t even think about that! I think I just got super excited that I found something named Iris :)

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by susie  08/10/2009

Then again, I love that IKEA even names things so miniscule as oven mitts!

BILLY

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Bookcase
$89.99

I had a Billy bookcase when I was in college, and even then I thought it was weird that a piece of Swedish furniture would be named Billy.

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by aliciak  08/08/2009

But the alliteration is quite wonderful—Billy Bookcase!

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by freeandfl...  08/08/2009

I had Billy for a while. We were buds. He held all of my books and I dusted him. BFFs.

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by aliciak  08/10/2009

It’s nice when things can end amicably.

ALEX

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Drawer unit on casters
$119.00

Much like Alexander the Great, this drawer unit is both strong and regal.

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by alexandraf  08/08/2009

i would keep my panties in here. Oh my!

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by elisa  08/08/2009

I’m sure Alex would LOVE that.

HARRY

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Chair
$49.99

I wouldn’t really peg this chair as a Harry, Given it’s simplistic lines I’d go for Rem or Mies.

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by aliciak  08/08/2009

This totally does NOT look like a Harry. A Maude perhaps, or Katherine. Even Daniel.

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by sitegotsold  08/08/2009

Somebody please tell me there is a Sally chair somewhere so I can make the set. Not kidding.

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by elisa  08/08/2009

Just checked and there is no “Sally.” Looks like Harry will be dancing alone come New Year’s Eve.

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Discussions

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I can just see it The Mean Bean ceramic vases….yep, brilliant.

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I just spent way too much time on IKEA’s website trying to find a piece of furniture with my name (or some variation). Not even an oven mitt!! SO not fair :(

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No Alicias either, BUT in googling for “Alicia furniture” just to be sure, I discovered that there is a town named Alicia in Arkansas and I am really excited about this! Field trip. Now.

About The Author

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elisa Rss 

"The Valley"
Favorite Food: Japanese; Favorite Drink: Pyramid Apricot Ale; Favorite Music: KCRW; Favorite Book: Middlesex; Favorite TV Show: 30 Rock; Favorite Movie: Amelie; Favorite Golden Girl: Blanche

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