The (Hungry and Cultured and Well-housed) Cheapskates's Guide to New York

"Hunger was waging a fierce battle in me"

Knut Hamsun wrote a fantastic book called Hunger, which drew from his many impoverished years as a writer where he literally had no money to eat, day after day.  Most of us in New York do not even come close to this kind of desperation, but hunger is one of the most basic needs, and failure to fulfill it makes it almost impossible to focus on anything else.

In other words, eat! Even if you don’t have money, you can eat 3 pseudo meals a day, and if you’ve got strong feet or a bike, you can save subway fare while you’re at it.

Supermarket Free Samples

Ah, the free sample is a beautiful thing. Devoid of any commitment, rarely a line, and enough of them will equal a meal.  Maybe not a well-balanced one, but calorically, you’re good to go.

Free, or at the very least, cheap booze

Who needs food when you can fill up on empty calories that will make you forget your money troubles? Exactly. Another question for you: do you know how many FREE wine, beer, and cheese tastings New York has on any give day? I don’t know the answer to that, but it’s a lot! Go be cultured and throw one back for me.

The Freebie-filled Furnished Apartment

60% of my apartment is furnished from stuff found on the street, and I’m not talking stained mattresses or rickety chairs.  Nice stuff! I go for the 50’s vintage look, which is fortunate, because most Brooklyn peeps aren’t throwing away their West Elm couches or contemporary designer lamps.

When I first moved to Brooklyn, I memorized the garbage days for the wealthiest blocks and went on a hunt for the first few weeks of spring.  It’s a gold mine out there.  I racked up three end tables, a credenza, small shelf, foot stool, plant stands, wine glasses, and books. What are you waiting for?

Navigating the Wonderful World of Craigslist

As lame as it sounds, I owe my life in New York to craigslist. Rides, tickets, jobs, furniture, you name it, I’ve found it on craigslist.  Here’s what you need if you’re a cheapskate:

• Wanted: this category is misleadingly under “For Sale”, but basically it’s folks looking to buy specific things, like My Little Ponies, gas stations (not kidding!) and that one National Geographic issue from 1971.
• Free: self-explanatory. This is the nicely organized way of saying, “hey, I’m putting my old futon out on the street in an hour. Here’s my address.” New Yorkers are so considerate sometimes!
• Garage Sales: well, more like stoop sales, but good finds nonetheless.
• Etc. Jobs: sometimes you just can’t make ends meet.  But I have found some interesting jobs in the “Etc.” category, such as mystery shopping. I have amassed stories for years to come!
• Barter: if you want to go socialist, you can barter for desired wares. Kind of like a virtual flea market.
• Tickets: Sometimes I buy tickets for shows I know will sell out, and re-sell them on craigslist.  Uptight, law-abiding people call this “scalping” and “illegal,” but I call it resourceful, smart, and lucrative.

Getting Cultured for Free

Museums costs an arm and a leg to enter.  I used to work in one and I thank my lucky stars I have a magical, everlasting (shhhh!!!) museum badge that will score me admission to most venues around town! For the rest of you, some of them have free nights or entire days.  Hell, some are free all the time!

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