Don't be afraid to say no

...to attending

Let’s face it.  Sometimes you just can’t go to every wedding you’re invited to.  (Especially if it involves travel.)  Finances, timing, and other factors are all legitimate considerations when really weighing whether or not you can make it. 

If you’re stuck with an overabundance of invites and you know you’re not going to be able to go to every one, you may need to strategize a bit about which one(s) you do accept.  Don’t feel horribly about skipping a wedding for an acquaintance or someone you aren’t especially close to, but do make it a priority to attend the wedding of your best friend or a close family member.

For the weddings you just can’t attend, make sure to RSVP as soon as humanly possible.  This will give the couple plenty of time to send out a invitation to someone who may be on the “B” list.

...to being part of the wedding party

This is a tricky one to navigate.  Brides don’t take too kindly to having their request turned down when they ask you to be a part of their wedding party.  Words like “You’ve ruined my special day” and “I’m never speaking to you again” could very well spew from their mouths.

But really be honest with yourself.  Being a part of the wedding party involves a bit of responsibility and, even moreso, money.  If you have even a nagging feeling that you can’t pull it off, it’s worth it to reconsider.  And, if you do decide it’s not for you, gently (!) break the news and be sure to offer a alternate solution – for example, doing a reading or contributing to the wedding in a different way. 

Psst…one potentially positive thing about being in the wedding party is that you may just get to wear something great from the J.Crew bridal collection.  Because you’ll look adorable and sophisticated and, most likely, it’s something you’d be able to wear again.

Stress-less dress

More than one wedding a season does not mean you need to buy more than one dress.  (Or suit, for any of you guys reading this.  But I highly doubt you are.  So I’m going to focus on the ladies right here, ‘k?)  But, by all means, if you’ve got the cash money, go for it.

An easy way out is to start with a simple dress - if you own one, great.  If not, invest in one in a neutral color like black or navy blue.  And the less flourishes and embellishments on the dress, the better.

You can build upon a basic dress (like the Calvin Klein number, above) by adding killer shoes or bold accessories, like this necklace (below), and change it up for your next wedding.  If you’re seeing some of the same people for more than one wedding?  Really – with the subtle changes you make to your outfit, will they won’t even notice.  And remember: they’re really paying attention to the bride, not you.

Arrive prepared

To ensure that you’ll look your amazingly, effortlessly pretty self throughout the night, you just need a handful of goodies to carry along with you.  A little clutch is all you need to bring along the bare minimum:

• A couple of safety pins
  
• Band-Aids (hello, blisters!)
  
• Asprin
  
• Cash/license
  
• Lipstick
  
• Blotting papers

If you need anything more than this, a) I’d love to know what it is, and b) keep it in your car or hotel room (if applicable and accessible during the reception).

Bulky things like a camera and cell phone can be held onto by your lovely and accomodating date.

Shop for gifts wisely

Certainly don’t be a cheapskate, but at least be smart with what you give.  Here’s how.

Give cash

Most newly-wedded couples need cash: for a down payment on a new home, to put towards decorating that new home, or even to help pay off part of the reception debt.  So, while some people see cash as thoughtless, trust me - it will be quite appreciated. 

There’s really no “rule” in regards to the amount, but a general thought is that you should at least give what it cost to have you at the wedding - which, of course, can be impossible to determine.  So, give what you can afford, whether it be $50 or $150, and put it inside a nice card with a warm message to the couple.

Shop the bridal registry early

If you decide to go with a physical gift, please buy off the couple’s registry.  The registry contains items that the couple has decided that they actually need – and while you may not think that a chocolate fountain is something they “need”, that’s not for you to determine, love.  So, no creative gifts or ignoring the registry – otherwise, believe me, you will NOT get them something they’ll end up keeping.

One good strategy with registries: shop early for the best selection.  Otherwise, you may end up spending more than you intended because the only thing left is a $250 Kitchen Aid mixer.  Remember, people are not only buying off of it for the wedding, but also for the bridal shower. 

These, my dearies, are hands-down THE most popular stores for bridal registries.  In fact, if for some reason you have absolutely no clue where the bride and groom are registered, I guarantee that if you search the online registries for these stores, you’ll find them registered for at least one. 

Make the best of it

It goes without saying that when you decide to attend someone’s wedding, any stress/annoyance/indifference should be left at the door.  And who doesn’t love a party?

So be on time for the ceremony, and at least stay through dessert.  And don’t drink too much.