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How to survive an English winter
- by augustrush
- -
- February 12, 2009
(2)
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I'm English and as such I crave disappointment. We English people sit around staring at clouds and sipping tea, and then when it snows we act all surprised and use it as an excuse to stay in bed.
It doesn't have to look like this to get you the day off
Though it sure helps.
England can grind to a halt quite easily. You need to be stocked up at home for the inevitable snow storm. Tip one? Do NOT leave your keys in the car. It’ll be hell to try find them again.
Build a fort
It should be big enough to accomodate yourself and supplies (perhaps one other person too if you are feeling generous) and should include all of the following:
- Three good books
- A laptop or a tunnel to the computer
- Ideally a mini-refrigerator, if not, borrow some snow
- Comfort food, it’s gonna be cold, and you’ll need the extra calories
- A pet or a hot water bottle
- Lots of quilts, pillows and cushions
- An en suite bathroom
- A camping hob, camping kettle and some tinned food
- A bucket of water incase it all goes horribly wrong.
- At least one space heater
It’s best to situate your fort somewhere near to a radiator and away from doors. Location is VITAL.
Wear the right attire.
This guy has got it right. Wear pyjamas or a tracksuit, something comfy, and wrap up in a duvet. You will be rewarded with the ability to feel your feet.
Keep a couple of pairs of spare socks on hand though, just in case.
Choose your company well
Seriously. Cold-blooded murder won’t quite cover it. You’re better off on your own to be honest. In these chilly times you are bound to be irritable.
Boyfriend? Challenge him to a den-making contest or just refuse to talk through the majority of your stay.
Children? Tell them to bugger off and make their own dens, you do enough for them as it is.
Pet? These serve as good thermal devices so treat them very nicely.
Get it right
If there is roughly half a centimetre of snow outside and work have told you to get your ass down there, do it. The fort extends to your office too. If you don’t like your job much? Laugh at them in your toasty warm hovel.
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.jpg "AlexandraF")
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Great guide, you guys have been getting more snow then usual this winter huh? Lucky me, it is sunny Denver right now! Nice guide, keep them coming.
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