Tell Lies

A fast and efficient way to totally mess up you life is to be a liar. Start lying all the time. Tell little ones, tell whoppers. If someone asks you what time it is, lie just for practice. Lie about yourself, and tell lies about other people. When you get caught in a lie, cover it with two bigger lies. Tell so many that you can’t keep them straight. Before you know it: Disaster!

Be a Cheater

Cheat at everything you do. Cheat at work. Cheat your friends. Cheat on your partner. Cut corners, bend the rules, tilt the odds in your favor in the most unethical way possible. People will hate you for it.

Get Addicted

Drugs, Booze, Gambling, Sex, Video Games. Take your pick. Just get yourself hooked and start putting it before everything else. Let it come between you and your friends, your family, and your job. You will be amazed how fast you can lose them all!

Steal Things

You can go the classic route and rob banks, break into houses, or mug people at gunpoint, or you can be more subtle. Embezzle from your company, cheat the elderly out of their savings with a clever telephone scam, pick up your neighbors mail and use his credit cards. You can even steal someone’s identity.  The important thing is that you take things that are not yours. People will notice!

Fail

This can be tricky. It is really harder to fail than it seems. People are always trying to help you out and cover for you but you can’t let them. You need to do a really bad job, bad enough that everyone will notice, before you can really be called a Failure. Whatever it is that you do, try to do it worse than anyone ever has before, or ever will again.

Be Reckless

Take chances and throw caution to the wind. Drive too fast, leap without looking, and roll the dice. Never take heed of warnings or cautionary advice. On the road of life, run every red light. The odds will catch up to you.

Make Terrible Choices

Every day you are asked to make hundreds of choices. Yes or No. Left or Right. Fight or walk away. Paper or Plastic. It is not enough that you make the wrong choices, you need to make truly awful and regrettable choices. It is better if the choice doesn’t just have a negative impact on your life, but hurts others too. Quitting your job at the Law Firm to become a Street Musician, that is just a bad choice. Quitting your job and plotting to kill your wife for the insurance money, now that is a terrible choice!

Get Caught

Now your old well-ordered life seems like a distant memory. You’ve really blown it. Congrats.

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