How Not to Kill Each Other During Election Season

  • by mswen
  • -
  • November 06, 2008
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Let's face it: this is a pretty important election year, with two very different candidates and lots of heavy issues to contend with, and the reality is that not everyone is going to agree on who to vote for or what's important. Guess what, Angry Voters: IT'S OK! Remember -- people's political views have been shaped by their life experiences, their own personal or family struggles, and many other factors that you'll never be able to change, no matter how loudly you yell or what sort of damage you do to the bumper sticker on their car. I have no clue why people have to be so hateful towards one another when they have differing views, but apparently they do. So, I have the perfect solution: let's inject some lighthearted fun and humor into these next few weeks full of heated debate, finger pointing, and cutthroat tactics and realize that, yeah, getting the right person into office is important, but we can all still be friends if our guy doesn't win.

Flaunt your choice (reasonably)

Rah rah sis boom bah!  Supporting your favorite candidate publicly is just fab.  But unfortunately, sometimes doing so gets the other side’s panties in a bunch.   

So, let’s try this: back away from the vulgar t-shirts and bumper stickers (OK, I know you’re angry, but please — you look ignorant) and onto less offensive, smarter, even funny ways of expressing who we support, you’d avoid putting those on the other side of the political fence immdiately on the defensive.

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…and a Republican-lovin’ tee.

Urban Outfitters

1 Faneuil Hall Sq, Boston, MA 02109

Leave it to Urban’s to offer these tongue-in-cheek shirts to the masses.

Leave it to Urban’s to offer these tongue-in-cheek shirts to the masses.

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Bonobos has created a pair of “Obama” pants…

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…and a pair of “McCain” pants.

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These hilarious candidate finger puppets are easily printable from your computer and will provide hours of silly fun. Let THEM argue while you and your political-disagreeing pal just drink beers and watch the game.

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Are you into Sarah Palin’s edgy eyeglasses? The Kawasaki 704 glasses are flying off the shelves, thanks to Palin’s endorsement.

Q Optical sells Kawasaki frames, and sales have been so brisk that Dr. Quinterro-Chica was quoted by a local paper as saying, “I have to thank Sarah Palin for my income this past couple of weeks.”

Q Optical sells Kawasaki frames, and sales have been so brisk that Dr. Quinterro-Chica was quoted by a local paper as saying, “I have to thank Sarah Palin for my income this past couple of weeks.”

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With a space in New York City’s Chelsea Market, Eleni’s makes “conversation cookies” are super-popular. This election year, she’s offered up candidate cookies for your serving pleasure. Here we have the Obama cookie…

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…and the McCain cookie. Admittedly, both are creepy, but you really can’t lose with these: fellow supporters will be happy, and anyone against will get a thrill out of biting through the head of their despised guy.

 

Look to the cookie

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There’s nothing like a black and white cookie to symbolize the coming together of differing political opinons. Bake a batch for your political doppelganger and all will be peaceful.

Red velvet black and white cookies

1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1 Tablespoon cocoa powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

5 Tablespoons butter, softened

3/4 cup sugar

1 egg

1 Tablespoon red food coloring

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 cup buttermilk

For Vanilla Glaze:

2 cups powdered sugar

1 Teaspoon light corn syrup

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

For Chocolate Glaze:

4 ounces semi-sweet chocolate

3 Tablespoons butter

1 Tablespoon light corn syrup

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper, or grease and flour the pan well so the cookies don’t stick.  In a medium bowl, sift together flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt.

Using a mixer, beat 5 tablespoons butter with the granulated sugar until fluffy, about 3 minutes.  Beat in the egg, food coloring and 1 teaspoon vanilla.  Beat in the flour mixture alternately with the buttermilk until smooth. 

Place 1/4-cup scoops of batter 2 inches apart of the prepared baking sheet, spread the batter out with a butter knife.  Bake until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out dry, 12 to 15 minutes.  Let the cookies sit for 5 minutes, then transfer to a rack to cool.

Acknowledge the good

This may be hard to swallow, but I have a newsflash: Satan isn’t running for President.  Which means, if you look reeeeeeeallly hard, there are actually good points to each candidate’s platforms.  And by admitting this to those who you disagree with politically (and, to yourself), you prove that you’ve done your due dilligence and have made an educated decision about who to vote for, and you automatically establish common ground with the other side.   

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Look! If they can hug, so can we!

Sharpen your arguing skills

Now, I’m certainly not saying to keep your political views to yourself.  That’s no fun and borderline boring.  What I am saying is that there actually is a civilized way to have a political discussion, even when passions run deep.

Here’s where being on the debate team back in school would have come in handy: you would have been trained to debate and argue in a way that doesn’t end up with you screaming “I hate you!!!!” at the top of your lungs and running away crying.  Here’s what you can do at this stage of the game to learn how to argue effectively.

Toastmasters is an educational organization that teaches members the art of communicating, public speaking, and leadership. The club will hone your ability to think, listen, and speak; and while it’s intended to strengthen your career skill set, it can obviously enhance your personal relationships as well. And unlike a debate club, where members already have some level of public speaking skill, Toastmasters expects that new members will barely be able to utter a word in front of an audience.

Toastmasters is an educational organization that teaches members the art of communicating, public speaking, and leadership. The club will hone your ability to think, listen, and speak; and while it’s intended to strengthen your career skill set, it can obviously enhance your personal relationships as well. And unlike a debate club, where members already have some level of public speaking skill, Toastmasters expects that new members will barely be able to utter a word in front of an audience.

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A NIGHT OF BROKEN DREAMS AND FRACTURED HIPS!

Really? None of this working?

OK, wellll…maybe you should start hanging out with your “own kind”. 

Can't we all just get along?

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Discussions

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I love the little finger puppets. hahah.

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Wait, I have no idea what this guide is about… all I remember is black and white cookies.

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Ummm PERFECT!!!! Seriously, I hate that people can’t disagree and still be friends. LOVE this guide!