How Long to Wait Before You Call: A Guidespot Algorithm

Instructions

Just answer these 4 simple questions and you’ll be a communicating Casanova in no time. 

Start counting days with the day after you met (e.g., you met Friday, start counting Saturday then Add 1, Subtract 1, etc.).  Of course, this is all predicated on the idea that you actually want to call.  Some situations (3 d) mean you have to call even if you don’t want to, so you had better read the guide anyway.  Good luck!

Question 1: Where did you meet?

(a) A swank wine bistro, jazz lounge or hotel bar. This girl is a class act (or at least wants you to think so).  She knows that she is in high demand.  This means that you have to pretend you’re barely interested.  Add 3 days.

(b) A dive bar, crashed wedding or house party.  A girl that loves to party is the best kind.  You don’t necessarily have to play it cool with her, because it’s likely she’d be just as happy to find a new drinking buddy as true love.  Add 2 days.

© A coffee shop, bookstore or other nerd hangout.  How sweet.  Your eyes locked behind your matching horn rimmed glasses and it was love at first sight.   She will be waiting by the phone, so go ahead and put her out of her misery.  Add 1 day.

Question 2: How long did you talk for?

(a) 0-15 minutes.  Two ships passed in the night.  You don’t really know anything about her (though you could probably guess as to her cup size) but you know something is there.  Add 2 days.

(b) 15-30 minutes.  Ok, you can talk to her for over 15 minutes without passing out!  Nice!  She could be the one.  Add 1 day.

© 30+ minutes.  Wow.  This is longer than I’ve ever talked to anyone that I wasn’t contractually obliged to.  Subtract 1 day.

Question 3: How much physical contact was made?

(a) None or hug.  Ok, a friendly little goodbye gesture.  That’s appropriate and sweet.  This could be the real thing, so don’t blow it by calling too early. Add 1 day.

(b) Kiss (peck).  Ooh, broaching the lip area.  Very promising. Add 0 days.

© Kiss (make out)  Getting pretty hot & heavy for someone you’ve just met.  If she stopped it before it went any further it means you’ve still got somewhere to go and you’re both eager to get there. Subtract 1 day.

(d) More than making out.  Anything besides kissing and you are totally obliged to call the next day.  Without exception. Seriously, have some class.  Ok, there is an exception: if she says “never call me again” it’s OK to take that at face value.

Happily Ever After

I can almost guarantee you that she’s not going to pick up when you call and I can not guarantee you that she’ll call back.  Girls are fickle and confusing.  As a matter of fact, why are you calling at all?  One way or another, it’s just going to mean trouble…