How to Live Life Like Hank Chinaski?

Who is Hank Chinaski?

Hank Chinaski is the fictional character and alter-ego from the works of Charles Buckowski. Chinaski has been featured in books titled: Post Office (1971), Factotum (1975), Women (1978), Ham on Rye (1982), and Hollywood (1989). Also the film Barfly (1987) was a Chinaski story written just for the big screen starring Mickey Rourke as Hank Chinaski (below). Factotum was also made into a film in 2005 starring Matt Dillon as the hard drinking writer. Henry Chinaski has also been present in many different short stories written by the late Charles Bukowski.

Hank Chinaski lives a life of drugs and loose women. He goes from job to job and women to women. Meanwhile, he is filling his body with non-stop amounts of liquor and cigarette smoke.

So if you want to live this lifestyle, then pay attention.

I want to be a Chinaski...

So you want to live like Hank Chinaski? Well, that means you are going to turn into this man right here….

He is the supreme image of a “Dirty Old Man”. This man is the real Hank Chinaski.

So in order to be Chinaski, there are some key elements you must obtain.

One, you have to be a complete failure at everything, especially life. You should have washed away most of your life, and there isn’t much left.

Two, you have to have almost no life ambition. Caring is a very bad trait if you seek to be like Chinaski.

Three, you must be an aspiring writer. Not just to be like the character, but to have the flaws that comes with being a wordsmith. (Examples: Hard-drinking, chain-smoking, pill-popping, being promiscuous, being depressed, etc.) Being an aspiring writer means that you write, you call yourself a writer, but you are still a nobody.

Four, you have to be able to look back at your life and see the countless amounts of jobs and relationships that you have destroyed.

Look Like Chinaski

Chinaski has been described by himself and his co-workers as looking like a “wino”.

This is how you should look:

1. You wear nice clothes. But the clothes are dirty, wrinkled, and unironed.
   
2. Shaving is not in your vocabulary.
   
3. Grooming is not in your vocabulary either.
   
4. Your teeth and fingers are stained by tobacco.
   
5. The stench of dirt and alcohol follows you everywhere.

Living Conditions

Your living conditions will vary. You will be moving from city to city, never really sticking to one place. At one point, you may be living at your parents house. That is before they kick you out after you beat the crap out of your father. But occasionally you’ll have an apartment. When you don’t, you’ll spend most of your time living in bars and sleeping on park benches.

Get comfortable. And be careful, park benches aren’t too great on the back.

Let's Talk About Money

When you say: “I want to live like Hank Chinaski!” you should be aware that you will go from job to job, and never stick to one. Being a Chinaski means that you are: “A man who never had a job he liked; and never kept a job he had.” You will always need money, but never bad enough to keep a job. You will find yourself in a dive bar spending what’s left of your money buying a woman a drink so that she will sleep with you.

And she will.

Relationships

Your relationships are like William Hung’s career, short and to the point. You go from woman to woman, you never stick around too long, you get what you need then leave, and you never ever end up with a classy woman. And that is how the cookie crumbles.

You're a Chinaski Now

Congratulations. You are now a Chinaski. Now you could “live” life like Henry Chinaski. Be prepared to sleep on park benches, go from job to job, wake up everyday with a hang over, get in many bar fights, and sleep with tons of loose women.

Congratulations, you bum.