Tips for Becoming a "Hot or Not" Vixen (Seattle Edition)

Call me petty, histrionic, vain and shallow, but I find myself thinking about aging a lot lately. Teenagers bother me, and I still think Andy Rooney is funny, though his cognitive faculties are…what was I writing? I worry about heading toward witnessing not one, but two decades worth of ironic style recycling.Will heroin be as big as coke is now? I often ponder what my fashion future will look like.Will I show cleavage when its far too late to compliment my face? Might I become a hippie grandma type that wears multiple layers of purple robes and claims to be the reincarnation of Cleopatra?

Very well done. Although I must admit, bow and arrow girl is givin’ me a halfie.