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How to be a Hot Mess a.k.a That Girl
- by jessicajoy
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- November 20, 2008
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- 2 discussions
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You see her everywhere. She is the girl walking down the sidewalk wearing a miniskirt and hooker boots on a Sunday afternoon. She is the girl who is crying hysterically in the bar bathroom for no reason at all. She is the girl who thinks she is the life of the party long after the rest of the party went home. She is "that girl" and this is how you can be just like her.
What is a hot mess?
A hot mess is that girl who does the walk of shame every Saturday and Sunday afternoon, make-up smeared all over her face, and high heels in tow. See exhibit A.
Exhibit A
A hot mess is aquainted with the bar floor
There are likely photos of her laying on the sticky, gross bar floor making absolutely no attempts to stand up. The next morning she will not remember this, and not care. She will, however, untag all of these photos on Facebook. See exhibit B.
Exhibit B
A hot mess cries in public
She doesn’t know why she is crying, nor does anyone else. But the tears flow for awhile, along with her mascara. The next day she will wonder why her eyes are all red. See exhibit C.
Exhibit C
Urban Dictionary: Hot Mess
“Someone or Something that is such a mess… the level of it, is off of the charts. It’s past pathetic, past pitiful. It’s to the point you almost have to walk away to keep from bustin a gut. Hot messes can exist in levels.”
A hot mess does this...
I don’t think she even realizes that she is a hot mess, but at least she’s having fun!
A hot mess doesn't know when she's being trashy
Whether her thong is showing, her boobs are falling out of her shirt, or she’s missing articles of clothing… a hot mess does not keep tabs on her clothing. See exhibit D.
Exhibit D
Let’s specifically focus on the girl in the yellow shirt… although the blond girl clearly has issues as well.
A hot mess has bathroom photoshoots
It will seem like a good idea for her to take pictures of herself and her friends in the bathroom of the bar. She will not realize that more than half of the picture is over the toilet. She is too drunk to care. See exhibit E.
Exhibit E
A hot mess will spend the entire next day on the couch
She will be hungover and look like hell. She likely won’t shower all day or all weekend. When you ask her a question, her response will be a groan along with the common phrase, “I’m never drinking again!” See exhibit F.
Exhibit F
A hot mess eats at Ihop the morning/afternoon after
She will mostly likely still have make-up smeared on her face, her hair in messy, day-old curls, and sweatpants. She will order everything on the menu and not care (or notice) that people are judging her.
Ihop
100 Asbury Ave, Evanston, IL 60202
For all of the hot messes at Northwestern University, here’s your place. Go for a tall stack.
For all of the hot messes at Northwestern University, here’s your place. Go for a tall stack.
A hot mess becomes a youtube celebrity overnight
I couldn’t help but add this video to my guide. This is still one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed in my life. This girl is hot and a mess. I think it’s appropriate.
Lindsay Lohan is a hot mess
Lindsay is America’s favorite hot mess. It doesn’t matter what she is doing, you will always see drunk/high/coked-up pictures of her and just shake your head… because she is “that girl.”
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