So, Your High School Girlfriend Is Engaged

Be A Good Sport

If you’re still talking to your ex, you should probably find some time in the near future to congratulate her. Or not. It’s your call. Depending on what the current status of your friendship is, I trust you can make a well-informed decision. Whatever you may choose, don’t be a dick. Face the facts: you two broke up for a reason. If you react negatively, it makes you look like an idiot. Think about it this way: high school was almost a decade ago and you’re still holding onto hope? Dude. Just be gracious, call your therapist, and get on with your life.

Do NOT Feel Sorry For Your Single Self

Okay, now that you’re done crying and listening to Pinkerton, buck up boyo. Presumably, you’re an attractive young male in his twenties living in or near a teeming metropolis. There’s literally hundreds of fish in the sea. If you’re not in a geographically ideal location, there’s always the internet. The point is that your bachelorhood is to be celebrated, not mourned. The reason why a TV show like How I Met Your Mother is hilarious is because the premise is totally ridiculous. Anybody with half a brain knows that “searching for the one” at 25 has about as much promise as The Philadelphia Eagles actually winning a Super Bowl in this lifetime. Go out and party, my friend. You’re young. You’re single. And, you don’t have kids.

The Bros, Dude, the Bros

How do you forget about her? Uh, they’re called “your friends” for a reason, right? Get a bunch of the boys together and get a barhop going. Or, get some tickets to a Knicks game. Or, hell, go to Atlantic City for the weekend (just don’t pay for any – um – “services” while you’re there). Get your boys together and remember why you were enjoying your life before you found out she was getting hitched. Your friends are your support system. They should always be there to bring you up and knock you down (in the name of good intention). As Wayne and Garth once waxed, “Party On.”

What Not To Say To Her

“Thanks for ruining my life.”

“So… what’s this @#!hole’s name?”

“But what about our kids? The ones we had in my head?”

“And I’m supposed to tell my parents what?”

“Congratulations! You got engaged the same day I got my gun license.”

5 Rules For A Bachelor To Live By

1. You do not chase women. Women chase you.
2. A sense of style is imperative.
3. Always look good, even in a baseball cap.
4. Confidence will always win. Desperation is a sin.
5. A man doesn’t steal. He talks and flirts, but he doesn’t steal.

Didn't You Hate Her Dave Matthews Collection?

So, why does it still hurt a little bit to think about her with another guy for all eternity? Well, probably because you’re only thinking about the good parts. Every relationship has its ups and downs. Even if breaking up was the best thing for both of you, that doesn’t mean you two weren’t happy together at one point. We’re always bound to focus a bit much on why a past relationship worked and ignore the stuff that got on our nerves. Before you have a whiskey shot too many and unleash your fury on Facebook, take a moment to remember what led to you guys calling it quits. Cheating? Jealousy? Too much work? Bisexuality? If it was any of these (or others), you made the right call to end it.

Hey - How About At Party At 2 a.m.?

Here’s a crazy idea: why don’t you do what’s rightfully entitled as a single person? That would be “Anything”. When all else fails, just remember one thing: a single guy can do anything he wants without getting permission, or checking in with somebody, or running it by “the ball and chain”. Your ex, on the other hand, may have a full-blown control freak for a fiance and she’s just pretending things’ll get better once they’re married (because they always do). Don’t ever take for granted the great liberty you have when you’re single. Because one day, you will meet “the one” and guess what? A life lived in regret is one that usually wrecks a good thing.

Just Let It Go

You do have a right to feel a little weird. The average teenage relationship – no matter what length – is usually the one that leaves the longest impression. We are talking about the first person you may’ve shared some special experiences with. So, yeah – do allow yourself a little bit of a grief period (be reasonable, though). The girl you once hit up the midnight diner with is getting hitched to another dude. This also means something else: you two are both older. While she’s off, doing whatever she wants, you should take a moment to remember that you’ve got a sweet life, too. Enjoy it. In the end, neither one of you could’ve achieved what you have if you were both still together. Be single. Move on. There are a million curveballs you’re going to be thrown in your life. This one is nothing. Play through cowboy – you’re doing okay.