Hiccups: A Guide on Banishing the Little Buggers.

What in the H are they????

Well my fellow hiccupers, a hiccup is a spasming of the diaphragm which then causes a rush of air to the epiglottis, thus creating A HICCUP.

My best friend in high school, Moises (no not Moses, but MOIses) used to tell me whenever I’d get hiccups, while doing my frequent underage drinking, that I needed to “regulate my breathing” …..which has been the most affective cure so far. However, if I can use an excuse to eat a spoon full of peanut butter to banish them, then I will.

Speaking of eating things....

I’m a big fan of any opportunity to EAT. Especially if it “for a cure.”

Some other hiccup reducing food (so they say) are:

• Eat a Slim Jim
• Eat some honey.
• Eat a marshmallow
• Eat several packets of Sweet & Lo
• Eat sour candy
• Chew on mint leaves

Tip #7

Close your eyes and say, “I AM NOT GOING TO HICCUP AGAIN. THAT WAS MY LAST HICCUP.”

You know, like The Secret.

MY PERSONAL CURE:

Making out babyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!! Does it get better than that??? Thats some good distraction. However, make sure you’re really in it, otherwise…….


your could hiccup, and knock out a tooth. Which would give you a whole new set of problems.

WHAT CAUSES THE HICCUPS?

A series of different things can lead to a hiccup induced FIT, for instance:

• Drinking alcohol in excess (Here, here!)
• Laughing vigorously- now I’ve never personally seen this, but I think it’d be hysterical. Which would cause more laughing and more hiccuping?
• Eating too quickly
• SOBBING- which causes air to the stomach. Oh, I’m sure this has happened to me. I’m a crier.
• Taking a cold drink while eating a hot meal
• Spicy food (which also may cause diarrhea)
• Smoking and abnormal inhalation….(I know nothing about smoking anything….)
• Talking too much.

Tip #1

DISTRACTION.
Sometimes this means, singing a song, JOGGING IN PLACE, or maybe jogging to a place? Repeating nursery rhymes, singing the alphabet, etc. If you aren’t the one with hiccups attempt scaring the BEEJITS (its a new word. Don’t steal it) out of someone by:
Chasing them with a knife- I’m sure they’ll find other things to think about than their hiccups, perhaps, survival. Or you could go the more traditional route and just jump out from a bush, or something.

Tip #5

Uh, I can’t even take credit for this one but its GOOD:

“Think of the ugliest person you’ve ever seen. Now picture them naked, rolling
naked down a hill or riding a bike and slathered in A-1 steak sauce”