Dining with ReallyRichPeople in the 98112.

For a good pitcher, a crazy-tasty burger and your pick of every game being broadcast anywhere on the planet, it’s hard to beat The Attic.

Alright, I’m partial: it was a warm, sunny day in March (hold it – warm sunny days in March DID exist, back in 2004), I was on a first date with “Man of My Dreams,” we sat outside, we ordered identical meals, we fell in love over our mutual fondness for blue cheese dressing….

BUT, even if that weren’t the case…I’m still a sucker for cheap, family-friendly places to stop for a pizza, a gyro or a pretty convincing horiatiki salad – especially when those cheap, family-friendly places have LOTS of patio seating and a view of the lake. Great fall-back joint for families like mine that all prefer to answer, “I dont’ care” to the great, “Where do go to celebrate your birthday?!” question.

They pour a great Guinness.

And…(this is rather red-letter, particularly since the Onion is located right in the middle of the ReallyRichPeople strip)…they look at the girl in tight jeans and pointy heels like she’s obviously lost when she saddles up to the bar for her beer.

Which, right there, makes it a great place for a pint and some pizza.

So, even if you never have the joy of being interrogated by a drunk guy curious about your relationship with your in-laws (who later ducked on out on his can of Tecate and left a whopping dollar bill on the hostess’ table), and even if you never have the pleasure of watching the servers, bartenders and managers fall all over themselves to seize their one and only opportunity to throw someone out of the Rich People’s Bar, it’s still a great place to grab a drink, their guac is top-notch, and the Bananas Dulce dessert is worth its weight in…brown sugar.

No, I don’t associate every restaurant with the amusingly dysfunctional diners seated near me when I last ate there, but I can say that there’s something about romantic candle lighting, a roaring fireplace and bottles of wine that brings out the inappropriate in people. Even ReallyRichPeople. Like last time, a long-married couple and their long-married friends dissected their dissatisfying sex lives, complete with grotesque accusations, detailed complaints and otherwise passive-aggressive insults that wouldn’t have surfaced without the pinot blanc.

But that’s irrelevant. Stop by Sostanza for a great date night…the menu’s top notch, the ambiance is pure romance, the rooftop patio reminds me of a cafe I visited in Greece and the wine list is just right.

Favorite moment of the evening: I ordered some Hennessey to accompany our dessert. The waitress looked at me like I was from Mars. “Some WHAT?”

I got a deer-in-the-headlights, are-you-really-carding-me-again expression.

“A Hennessy?”

Look of relief from the waitress.

“Thank God. I thought you asked for a PEPSI. Pepsi and chocolate don’t mix.”