Looking for a cup of coffee to better reflect your subcultural leanings? Try Ritual. It screams Mission hipster chic. Don’t let the cool kids loitering out front with their fixed gear bikes and tattoos scare you too much, you’re all connected through the humanness of your addiction. The filtered coffee at Ritual doesn’t fill the void for me in the same way that Philz does, but their espresso drinks are where the money’s at. It’s rare to find a proper macchiato in the US, but Ritual does it well. Although their Valencia street location is rather large for a cafe, seating is always limited as Ritual seems to act as a hub for moody intellectuals, bibliophiles and students.

When it comes to ambiance, I am not the biggest fan of Muddy Waters. There are four MW locations throughout San Francisco and they range from grundgy to moderate to straight up lacking in chi. But the coffee serves its purpose for a good old fashioned kick in the pants (I swear, they must brew it triple strength). This makes Muddy’s a great choice for commuter coffee consumers. However, this is not to say that Muddy’s doesn’t serve as a hang-out for some people. As with any cafe, there are regulars who occupy their favorite table out front or in the window. The crowd is generally friendly and it attracts less telecommuters and laptops than most other cafes.

Walking into Philz coffee for the first time is quite an experience. If you can make it past the anxiety of what kind of coffee to order, you’re in good shape. I’ll be the first to admit that the giant chalkboard full of Philz options can be overwhelming, but just trust me when I tell you that it’s oh-so worth it. The number one complaint from conformist coffee drinkers is the seemingly chaotic and lengthy queue that forms when ordering your coffee. But you’ve got to hand it to the baristas for being able to multi-manage the numerous orders and throngs of coffee junkies who eagerly hover around the counter. Be forewarned: this is NOT your average cup of joe. It’s ROCKET FUEL. What’s special about Philz is that each cup is ground and brewed just for you, which is why you wait a little longer than at most cafes. Of the 20-something varieties of coffee they serve, my favorites are the Canopy of Heaven (a lighter roast, creamy and smooth), the Philharmonic (aftertastes of cardamom, sort of toasty), and the New Manhattan (speed!). I recommend black or cream-only to be able to savor the complexities of each roast. Brace yourself and enjoy!

“You want me to drink coffee from a kiosk??” Don’t freak out. Kiosk is meant with the utmost irony in this instance. What the Blue Bottle Coffee Kiosk in Hayes Valley really is, is a hole in the wall. Literally. A hole with a garage door. Again this is more of an espresso establishment, seemingly modeled after an Italian espresso bar: order, shoot it, leave. For those with more social attachment to their coffee consumption, there’s a small bench to sit on. Aside from their dynamite espresso Blue Bottle also serves New Orleans style iced coffee, which is sort of magical (the magic comes from chicory added to the grinds).

Ah, Farley’s, the people’s coffee. You’re no-nonsense approach inspires me to strip my life down to the bare essentials. Up until very recently, Farley’s was a One Size Fits All kind of establishment. But don’t let that deter you, it has much more socialist leanings and it’s not a hotbed for conformist dictatorships. Still only serving their coffee in one size (best characterized as a “medium”), Farley’s now offers non-fat milk as an option for their espresso drinks. As someone who finds anything but whole milk with her espresso fundamentally wrong as a coffee experience, I could care less about the non-fat addition. But if it pleases the people, so be it. Beverage accommodations aside, Farley’s is made special by it’s ambiance and community. A local artist’s venue for 2D display and musical performances, Farley’s encompasses that neighborhood coffee house feeling like no other place in the city. It’s cozy, unpretentious, family friendly, and great coffee. What could be better?