Great Americans

by matt_fried
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October 06, 2008
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There are so few American heroes alive in this day and age. Yes, it is an election year, but politicians can be downright dubious. When was the last time a politician did anything for you? Anyway, I wanted to take time out to salute the real heroes of this great country. Men and women, who have put honor on the line and giving so much back. We at Guidespot salute you!

Hulk Hogan

In 1983, Hulkamania ran wild through-out the country. At the center of it, was a man with a simple dream: to be the greatest professional wrestler of all time. Hogan carried this nation on his shoulders through the ups and downs of the ’80s. He even made military contributions during Desert Storm with his defeat of “Iraqi” Sgt. Slaughter and recapturing the WWE title. WHAT ’CHA GONNA DO?!?!?!?!?

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Paris Hilton

Every generation has their pin-up girl. In this case, Paris – being the frontierswoman that she is – took her role in this country to a whole new level. Only the most patriotic of women would record a sex tape for all the world to eventually see. And then, remain with her image unscathed for no apparent reason. Thank you, Paris. You’re like a new Betsy Ross.

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About The Author

matt_fried

Brooklyn

I'm a writer and comedian living in Brooklyn. You may've seen me around town at The Peoples Improv Theater, Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and Under St. Marks. I write funny stuff and maintain the blog, Sssh, don't tell anybody, but every single female Guidetripper and Maven is crushing on m...