Grammar: It's Awesome

Two Spaces Between Sentences

Unless you’re using a typewriter, there is no need for two spaces between sentences. Indeed, with most fonts it looks incredibly ridiculous: huge bullet holes marring those lovely straight lines of text. It’s a holdover from typewriters and the days of monospacing, where an “l” took up as much page space as an “m” did. Now, with proportional spacing, an “l” uses less space than an “m” and hitting the space bar once is enough. At least, unless you’re using Courier, but why would you do that?

Please, please, make the change to single spacing between sentences.

Misuse of the Apostrophe

I see it everywhere. Book’s. Used car’s. Unless that book or car is in possession of something, no apostrophe belongs in there.

See: It's and Its

As a subset of the apostrophe issue, its and it’s are not interchangeable. It’s is short for “it is.”

Literally

I know it’s not a grammar thing, but I hate it when people use “literally” when they mean “figuratively.” I will literally punch the next person who says that they are literally drowning in options.

See Also:

PIN Number

LOL, used in any form by someone past puberty.


BFN, CU L8R. K?

Pronoun Misuse

“Each person has their own room.”

Um, no.  It’s “each person has his/her own room,” idiot.

It’s a mute point!

I have a problem when.....

I’m starting to “talk” to a new person who I may want to “date” and they send me text messages with grammatical or spelling errors.

I said, “It was great meeting you!” and he says, “Like wise, you to.”

Eh….he’s cut.

Ridicule

They’re just haters.

Ending Sentences with Prepositions

To demonstrate, I’d like to share my favorite word nerd joke (slightly paraphrased):

A woman is on vacation in Boston and ends up in a neighborhood bar. A local girl turns to her, asking, “Where are you from?” The woman haughtily responds, “I’m from a place where we don’t end our sentences in prepositions.” Without blinking, the local girl replies, “Oh I’m sorry. Where are you from, bitch?”

(Sadly I’ve committed this atrocity on occasion. For some reason public schools have decided to stop teaching this rule and sometimes I fall into bad habits.)

I knowz my grammers?

I have a million grammar pet peeves, but the worst is when people spell it “grammer.” It happens WAY more than it should.

Me & Jim are going to the store

Need me say more?

Your Vs. You're

I don’t really understand why this perplexes so many people. Every time I see someone write, “I hope your having a great summer!”, I die a little.

-- versus ;

Misuse of the em dash (—) and semicolon (;). Let’s not even get started on hyphen versus em dash.

Irregardless of what this says

You’re still a moron for using it.

Split Infinitives

“To ever split infinitives is bad.” – Wilde

To me, this is a stupid rule and I agree with Churchill that it “is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put.”

Pretentious and Wrong

I laughed and then cried when my girlfriend told me about this pretentious ass of a classmate she had.  Apparently, his facebook slogan is the following: “Nobody is as debonair as I.”  Putting aside for one moment how toolish that statement is, it’s way worse because the personal pronoun he uses is incorrect.  A lot of people do this probably because they think “I” sounds “more classier” (sic!) than “me” to finish off a sentence.  If you’re going to be pretentious, at least maintain strict adherence to the standards of good grammar, sons of bitches.

"There's like 60 people in line for that movie already..."

…There ARE, there ARE, there ARE 60 people. ARE.

Thanks.

@

Nonsense Words and Noncount Nouns

Supposably is not a word. It never will be a word. It was never retired as a word. Yes, I understand that you are able to suppose something, but that will never mean that anything is ‘supposably’ anything else. For the love of a thousand Hindu gods…

In addition, there is no such thing as a pizza with three cheeses. Just like those three cheeses can’t be consumed by three mouses. Cheese is a noncount noun. So is soap. You can’t have a package of soaps, or a line of fragrant soaps, or too many soaps from which to choose. You can only have a thousand bars of soap. The same applies to tea. Would you like to choose from our selection of fine teas? No, I would not, but I will look at your tea selection. I’m sorry people, but you can’t have soups, juices, coffees or breads.
And it is virtually impossible for anything to pass “like sands through the hour glass” (I’m looking at you, Days of Our Lives). The days of our lives may only pass like sand through the hour glass.

A woman without her man is nothing.
A woman, without her man, is nothing.
A woman—without her, man is nothing.
A woman: Without her, sandwiches suck.

OR:

I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse.
I helped my uncle, Jack, off a horse.
I helped my uncle jack off a horse.

 A Lot is TWO words!

Shoulda

“I should of” instead of “I should have.” Also “would of” & “could of.”

I’m very bitter.

Pretentious and Wrong - #2

Uh, hey there guy who wrote the following:

Pretentious and Wrong

I laughed and then cried when my girlfriend told me about this pretentious ass of a classmate she had.  Apparently, his facebook slogan is the following: “Nobody is as debonair as I.”  Putting aside for one moment how toolish that statement is, it’s way worse because the personal pronoun he uses is incorrect.  A lot of people do this probably because they think “I” sounds “more classier” (sic!) than “me” to finish off a sentence.  If you’re going to be pretentious, at least maintain strict adherence to the standards of good grammar, sons of bitches"

Guess what.
“No one is more debonair than I” IS the correct pronoun.
In order to follow the rule, many make the mistake of relying on sound.
However, if you complete the sentence “No one is more debonair than I {am},” you will find the correct pronunciation.
Sad that you made a silly ass of yourself.
And that INCLUDES writing “sic” on a grammar nazi page.

Loves and correctness,
mme bookling